A Tiny Toony Goofy Fanfic
by claudius
Summary: COMPLETED Max has finally made it big on Campus, and then his father visits him with his students from the Acme Looniversity. Includes "Be a Clown" by Cole Porter
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Goofy and Max (and "Eye to Eye") are owned by Walt Disney Company. _Tiny Toon Adventures_ (and theme song) are the property of Warner Brothers.

* * *

It was bright afternoon when Max Goof drove through Campus. The sun soared, the birds chirped, students picnicked. And Max savored nature's glory by riding on his golf cart across the square. The vehicle was a privilege granted from the Gammas Fraternity. When Bradley Upperclass III was removed after his actions in the X Games, the Gammas invited Max and his friends to join them. Quickly, Max rose from the ranks, from resident to head leader. It was such a wonderful feeling to be accepted by such cool people. No more Maxie the Goof. He had become Gamma Maximus!

Much of his success was based on his own talents, though Max did admit his father's absence was also a good factor. After getting his diploma, dad was invited to teach physical education (!) at some obscure school in a place called Acme Acres. Dad liked the job, and liked the students he had, whom he described to Max in letters. That made Max happy. Anything that kept his father away meant happiness. Okay, Max admitted, perhaps he was being a little too hard on his old man, especially during his dad's senior year. But that was in the past. Father and son had their own lives now and doing great at it.

Speaking of which…Max spotted a rather beautiful girl walking the sidewalk he was riding upon. Her name was Lucrezia. She was a hot lady of the campus. A pretty face and a body with much distinction, she had an aloofness about her, which made getting her affections a challenge for those who dared. Max dared, and to his surprise, she had taken a shine to him. "Is this your lucky day?" He spoke out, stopping the cart to grab her.

Lucrezia turned with a cool look. "Define luck," Her words were cross but the kiss she gave him made the tone artificial. "Will I be seeing you at the party tonight?"

"Hey, I'm the host remember?" Max gently put Lucrezia back to her feet. "And I know I'll be seeing you, Lu."

Lucrezia seemed interested. "I love men with power," she quipped, patting his cheek.

Max could practically melt from her touch. But he stayed firm, kissing her goodbye and drove away. As that gal showed, tonight was going to be a lot of promise! Fun over, Max got to reality. At his side were a bunch of newly delivered mail. Quickly he checked them. Junk, junk, junk. A letter from dad, from Acme Looniversity. Dad just seemed to miss the spelling!

Max drove to the driveway and stopped to read the letter.

_Dear Maxie,_

_My students are so excited to meet you. So I got permission from the principal to…_

Max froze at the last line. _Take the kids on a field trip to your college next weekend._

Max sighed. Well, at least it would be next weekend. That solace fell when his eyes did the same thing on the date of the letter. Last week's date!

And suddenly a loud noise raised his long ears. It sounded like a bus. In fact, it is a bus, roaring out of control at his direction. There was no time to hit the gas. Max cringed for the impact. To die so young and popular!

And the bus stopped instantly a few inches away from Max's cart. Max sighed in his salvation, then turned to anger. What moron drove this thing? He checked the front. It had some hood ornament of a green duck. Correction: a living green duck. This duck peeled himself from the front, hitting the ground. Max got off his cart to check. His presence caught the victim's cruel eyes. Feathered hands clutched his jacket lapels. "You are in serious trouble, teach! When the Society for the Protection and Preservation of Mallards hears about this, you'll…say, when did you get so short?"

The realization struck like a flint in Max's head. That meant the moron who drove this bus is…

The opening of the doors cried out with _Ah-yuck_! The sound sent Max out of consciousness.

"Maxie? Maxie?"

In a haze, Max's lips felt the touch of another. He thought he was kissing Lucretia. It felt such a moving kiss, packing much power. Max fell into the influence. And then his eyes opened to find a purple skunk cleaning his tonsils. This sent him sitting up and coughing before his calm kisser.

"Back with ze living?" The skunk spoke with a French accent. She looking very pleased.

And then Max fell into the warm arms of his father George G. Goof. "Thanks for the mouth-to-mouth, Fifi."

"A pleasure," Fifi coyly touched her lips. "Your son is as handsome as vu, Monsieur Goof."

Max was struck by the strangeness of the compliment.

"He's a chip off the old block! I'm so glad you're okay, Maxie!" Goofy hugged his son, who seemed a little dazed. "Hey, everybody! This is muh son Maxie!"

Max looked upon this surrounding group of bunnies, ducks, pigs, a strange-looking freak of a girl, and all the other creatures.

"Now everyone," Goofy turned to the kids. "Give me a minute an' know who's here." He pulled out a list. "Buster and Babs Bunny…"

"No relation." The two said.

"Gawsh, I keep fergettin'," Goofy apologized. "Plucky Duck…"

"Here," the mallard dragged those words with a sneer.

The naming went on. Hampton J. Pig, Shirley Loon ('Like, here!" she cried), Fifi (who made another amorous wink at Max), Li'l Sneezer, Furball, Sweetie, Elmyra (the weird-looking kid), Dizzy Devil, Li'l Beeper, Calamity Coyote…

"Calamity Coyote!"

"Calamity Coyote!"

"Dad," Max got his father's attention to the student in question, bearing a sign marked _Here!_

"Oops, sorry." Dropping the list, Goofy strut next to his son with a hand on his shoulder. "Kids, this is muh son, Maximillian Goof."

"You already said that, dad!" Max kept his dignity. "Um, pleased to meet all of you."

"Thrilled," Babs smiled.

"Your old man told us so much about you," added Buster.

As Max tried to reply, he saw Buster pull his ears down and stretch out his snout. Babs suddenly put on a Powerline suit. And then they danced. _"If we listen to each other's heart, we find we're not very far apart, and maybe love is the reason why, the first time we'll be seeing it eye to eye!"_

Max watched stunned as his father joined Buster in the dance. _Their_ dance. Max wasn't sure what was weirder: Babs' straight-on impersonation of Powerline or Buster's frighteningly accurate impersonation of himself. And how the impersonator and his father clicked together in moves…

"They…know about that?" Max was surprised…not in a good way.

Buster returned to character. "Your old man showed us the video! Great moves, Goofster!"

"Max," the son corrected, cringing at that name, and at that memory. Powerline was so passé. Much to his chagrin, a crowd was gathering.

"Now allow us to show you our number." Babs blew a flute, then she and Buster went into a song. It started out simple to Max. Then it quickly got uncomfortable the way everyone got at his face.

"_We're tiny, we're toony,_

_We're all a little looney._

_And in this afternoon-nie_

_We invade the university!"_

_We're comic dispensers_

_We crack up all the censors!_

_From Tiny Toon Adventurers, get a healthy dose of comedy!_

_From Acme Looniversity,_

_We earn our toon degrees,_

_The teaching staff's been getting laughs since 1933!_

_We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney, we're Tiny Toon Adventurers! Come and join the fun!_

_And now our song is done!_

"Funny," Goofy added, "I thought it was 1932…"

Max made a small giggle; not the 'I-love-your-number' type, but the nervous laughter one gets when around certain scary weird things. The gathering, however, clapped more willingly at such a presentation.

"They like us!" Babs hugged Buster. "They really like us!"

Max kept a smile. Like a steel trap. "So dad, how long are you staying?"

"The whole weekend!"

Getting the scariest line ever, Max began to hyperventilate. His long-sought popularity heading to an onslaught!

Goofy ignored his son's plight, walking to his students. "Now, everyone pick a buddy, so we all won't get lost."

They did. Babs and Buster, Plucky and Hampton, Shirley and Fifi. Furball (after an attempt to grab Sweetie) was given to Elmyra. Sweetie got Beeper, while Dizzy joined with Calamity (as the sign he held implied).

There was one outsider. "Um, -sir-I-don't-have-a-buddy-do-I-have-to-be-all-alone-or-do-I-have-to-go-back-home…" Li'l Sneezer asked.

"No sirree," Goofy kindly picked the mouse up. "Y'll be my buddy." Sneezer kissed him. "Shucks…"

Max's anxiety continued. Time to cut it off! "Yeah, this is all great and all, but I have to drive this cart back…"

"Great!" Goofy interrupted.

Max enforced himself. Wait for it…

"Take the kids wit' ya an' show them the place. I'll get the bus to the hotel. You can meet me there!"

Max despaired, a contrast to the students jumping for joy. Any protest came in vain. Goofy and his buddy were off, riding the vehicle as crazy as before. This left Max with his students. Already the first impressions gave their scars to forever identify them. All the kids jumped aboard the cart. Of course, this meant much compaction, meaning some of the kids had to sit on the roof.

Max sighed as he scrunched himself to his driver's seat.

"For the sake of repeating dialogue," Buster planted himself. "Your pop said you're great with the board!"

"Guilty as charged," Max smirked. Despite his reluctance, he couldn't refuse any praise to his pride. "I'm different from my dad. Nothing like him."

"Really?" said several of the kids. There was some concern in that reply.

"That's too bad," said Buster. "He's a lot of fun."

Max rolled his eyes to that remark, a chance of sarcasm.

Babs dressed up like some sultry model. "He makes us laugh," she remarked with a sultry voice.

"No argument there," Max spoke uneasy. "My dad is a goof."

His uneasy tone of voice was not ignored. "And what's wrong with that?" Buster added. "He's a great teacher!"

Max stilled. More astonishment by the nonchalance! "We're talking about the same guy, are we? I'm talking about a prat-fall accident-prone…uh, good guy."

"Really?" Babs seemed surprised. "We were thinking of a prat-falling, accident-prone good guy. Guess it's the eye of the beholder."

Max noticed the wit in the girl rabbit's words. "So it doesn't bother you?"

"Of course not!" Babs denied. "You?"

Max quickly shook his head. "No…No. It doesn't." His denial was not made in relief.

"Step on it, Jeeves!" Plucky ordered.

Feeling that remark, Max nevertheless complied. He stepped on the brakes, hoping to shorten the tour. "Here's the campus, here's the library, the football team…"

Plucky popped out with glasses and a greasepaint mustache. "So where are the girls?"

Max didn't notice one of the passengers getting off. Beeper stuck a tongue to Calamity and zoomed away. An angry Calamity retaliated by pulling out a remote control. _Acme Vehicle Controller. _A button was pushed…

The cart stopped, much to Max's shock. Then it turned directly left, and zoomed after the roadrunner.

"Hey, wait a second!" Max turned the wheel in vain. The vehicle went as wild as the bus his dad drove. It careened to the point of falling, bumped to the point of breaking. Some weird twist of fate kept everything together in its wild ride after Beeper. And where Beeper went, the cart followed…

To the girls' dormitory. The cart roared through the building. One furious run, coupled with a thousand screams, and a thousand slaps, the cart continued its merry way.

Next they came to the great pond! Beeper sped upon the waters. The cart dived and drove through its deepest level, submerging back to the surface. Fortunately, everyone wore a snorkel. Everyone save Max, spitting out water like a fountain. He wasn't the only one unprotected. Calamity's remote controller short-circuited. To him and Max's knowledge but no one else, the cart was out of control!

Now the cart was heading to the construction for the new study hall. It charged upon the skeletal construction. It rode on narrow planks it could easily miss, through giant pipes that might end up in the air. The cart fell, dropped, lifted, spun…

Max was ready to go crazy. And then…It all stopped. Was he in heaven?

No, he was right at the hotel. The kids came out, none the worst in their experience. Its driver, however, buried himself against the wheel.

"That was cool, Max!" was the most remarks. Not all was praise. "The next chance to see the afterlife," Sweetie mentioned, "I'll ask you."

Goofy joined the scene, pleased to see everyone. Buster hopped to him and gave him a four by hand-slap. Max watched this reunion. No wonder these kids had no trouble with his dad: They were just like him! Again, such knowledge bothered him.

"Thanks Maxie!" Goofy congratulated his son. "Knew ya never let anyone down."

"Thanks…I think. You have some…interesting students!"

"Howabout ya get t' know them better at dinner?"

"NO…I mean, I have a party at the Gammas." Max covered his mouth as if it said some blasphemy.

"A party!" cried Plucky. Max did not like to hear that tone.

"Aw no," Goofy refused. "Let Max enjoy his fun. We got fun of our own." He turned to the hotel. "See ya, tomorrow, Max."

"Um, yeah…" Max stared at his departing father. "See ya…" His dad is actually leaving him alone? He should be jumping into the air at such an opportunity! But seeing his dad walking away, talking happily with his students (especially the one named Buster), Max couldn't summon any glee. Instead, he felt bothered.

* * *

Soon after settling in, Goofy found a major setback. "You're sick?"

Goofy spoke the obvious according to Plucky's condition. He was sweating, groaning, sticking his tongue out from the side of his beak. "It must…have been that chill. I…should have stayed home, but the wish to see your son overrode my common sense."

"Oh No!" Goofy was very concerned. Babs and Buster were also concerned…that Plucky was up to something. They kept silent.

"Well, I guess we'all have to stay then!"

"No!..." Plucky gave a potent answer, before returning back to type. "I mean…Don't ruin everybody's vacation on my behalf!" With an elongated hand, he pulled Hampton to his side. "My best friend, Hampton will stay at my bed, feeding me soup, cleaning the sheets damped with my sweat. You go…I'll be alright." He coughed some more.

"Well, if you say so," Goofy sadly bowed to Plucky's assurance. Then it was time to leave. "Take care," Buster spoke pessimistically.

As soon as all were gone, Plucky made an energetic jump in opposite to his assumed condition.

"Plucky?" Hampton was shocked. "You weren't sick at all?"

"Oh get over it! We are going to part-ee!"

Duck and Pig headed to the Gamma House. The Fraternity party was in full swing. Beer cans already littered the lawn. Plucky's ignorance to this mess was as big as Hampton's discomfort.

Plucky knocked at the door in full confidence.

Answering the door was a thuggish bouncer. "ID." He coldly demanded with a threat in the tone.

Plucky pulled a card out. _Y. Kulp Duck. Age 30._

Plucky smiled…and that got kicked out. Hampton just followed.

Plucky was undaunted. He tried the delivery pizza act. That too did not work out. Nor did playing a keg buddy. Or a police officer. All wash-outs.

Hampton sat by watching every disaster, always ending with his friend landing to him. "Gee, Plucky. Maybe we should go back?"

"Never! This little green duck has not begun to fight!"

* * *

Max moved his way through the partygoers. "Hail Gamma Maximus!" was their cry. Music to his ears. Speaking of which, the music was loud, the guests wild, the place becoming more and more a mess. The perfect party. Max spotted his colleagues. There was Block, a big type of muscleman holding the door. There was Tank, the remaining Gamma from Bradley's old team, now a good friend. And there was Xander Eghed. A handsome kid with glasses, he was the Gammas' intellectual, which might as well be an oxymoron with its regular members. He was also Max's best friend. "Max, might I remind you of next week's engagement…"

"Xander, why don't you relax and have fun?" Max urged his friend to loosen up. He looked to Lucrezia. "I got tonight's engagement."

Xander looked and understood.

Soon, Max and Lucrezia were outside the porch. The mood was right. With her, Max could forget everything. His dad's impromptu visit, those looney kids, etc. He lost thought as he looked at her eyes. The gal was ever so mesmerizing to Max. She leaned back onto the fence. Max did not hesitate. He bloomed his lips and kissed her yellow beak.

A second of mutual gagging later, Plucky spoke. "Maxie buddy! Remember me, friend of the family?"

"Who's he?" Lucrezia asked with annoyance.

"One of my dad's students." Max was less flattering. "No need to bother." He lunged for the duck.

"Loving the party!" Plucky gave out his flatteries. "Cool babe of a girlfriend."

Max pulled the duck away from Lucrezia to a corner. "You are not supposed to be here!" His worry about Plucky's age led to a more frightening thought. "Does Dad know about this?"

"Of course not! I fooled your old man with the sick act. Bet you did the same thing."

"As a matter of fact…," Max swung back to the priority. "Look, I am not a fool like my dad. So get out…"

Plucky did not cringe to this adversity. He begged. "Oh, please honor a young duckling his first taste of the college life!"

Max was not won over. "Block!"

The bouncer came to the scene. Seeing him, Plucky retaliated. "Okay, you forced me to use force!" He grabbed Max's long ear and whispered.

Max's face turned white. _"He told you that?"_

Plucky's grin was the confirmation of truth. He took out a big scroll. Max was stunned at how long it trailed to the end of the porch. "Max was interested in physical conditioning at an early age. So proud in exhibiting its beauty that at age 1, he ran outside completely…

Max grabbed the scroll, rolled it up into a ball, and shoved it into the duck's mouth. He swallowed it with difficulty.

"Alright!"

Plucky jumped for joy, then quickly regained a more dignified stance. "Oh, and don't forget the pig!"

He grabbed both kids. "If you excuse me, Lu." He stormed off. Lucretia wasn't exactly disappointed.

* * *

Max's attempt to preserve his own dignity had sneaking Plucky and Hampton to his room. It was a huge apartment, with its own spacious bathroom. A suite perfect for Gamma Maximus.

Plucky was impressed at the caveats. Hampton saw things differently. "Does your dad know your room is a mess?"

Max ignored the insult, wishing to keep these crasher as out of sight & mind as possible. He had spent months getting to the top. He won't risk losing it. "Later." He shut the door.

Plucky pulled at the door knob. "He's locked us in! Why that creep! Treating us guests! Well, he isn't going to ruin my crashing!" He pushed the window open, and climbed out of it.

Hampton considered following his friend, but the sheer clutter of the room called to him like a siren. Time to suit up!

* * *

Goofy's dinner with the kids had a guest in Sylvia Marpole the Librarian. It was she who convinced Goofy to take the job at the Acme Looniversity even though it meant some distance between them. Fortunately, the distance did little harm to their relationship, if the constant lovely looks were any evidence. Especially if one witness was a certain purple skunk who had a massive crush on her teacher, and thus could not help but stare daggers at that other woman.

"See kitty!" Elmyra said to her capti…cat Furball. "Goofy-woofie and Sylvia-wiffia, are gonna get squeezy-wheezy with each other."

"Oui," Fifi agreed with a voice full of acid. The intensity of her clutched hands could tear the wood off the table. Shirley noticed some very negative vibes.

"Such a cute class," Sylvia didn't pay any mind, except for Elmyra. "Strange looking girl, though."

"You should see her boyfriend. He's also named Max." Too bad he didn't come. Said something about not going unless his Maxie changed his name. A rather moody child, just like his Max.

A fat waiter came to the table. "And how shall I…Mr. G!"

"We'll have the buffet…P.J.!" Goofy was just as happily surprised. He arose to the waiter and patted his shoulder. "Kids, this is my son's best buddy- P.J.!"

Like Max, P.J.'s introduction was not happily approved by the named.

"Ooooo! Another kitty-widdy!" cried Elmyra. Furball took advantage at the ease of her grip. Freedom!

"Run for your dear life!" Buster gave the gravest of cautions to P.J..

"O-kay…" P.J. tread carefully on the weirdness of this situation, "Well, the dinner buffet is open. So bon' appetite!"

With a cheer, the group of toons scampered out of the table, leaving only P.J., Goofy, and Sylvia.

P.J. was very anxious, not wishing to leave, but getting to his priorities. "I gotta get to the next table."

Goofy understood. "Well, stop by at the hotel when you're done."

P.J. seemed okay with the invitation. "Will Max…be there?"

"Nah, he's got a party."

"Oh." P.J. sadly nodded, an expression not missed by Goofy.

Meanwhile, Buster and Babs had their own anxiety. "I'm worried about Hampton," Babs mentioned.

"Telepathic are we?" Buster revealed his own anxiety.

"I could be just crazy, but I think he went to that party Goofy Jr. went to."

"Well, crazy, I think we might go there too."

Fifi interrupted their situation. "May I join zee?"

* * *

Max's door was supposed to be locked, but it opened just the same. Xander and Lucretia snuck in with thoughts you shouldn't see in a story like this.

"What if Max finds out?"

"The bigger risk." Xander smiled wickedly. "Greater the challenge." Lucrezia liked that very much.

They opened the bathroom door, where thousands of soap suds came flooding out. And out popped Hampton in a white suit. "Job done." The bathroom shined from his efforts.

Lucrezia was not impressed to see soap dots stain her dress. Neither was Xander impressed. Angry was more like it. "Out!" He kicked the pig out of the bedroom. Hampton's velocity unfortunately knocked into Block as he was enjoying his break from bouncing. He turned his glowing eyes upon the poor pig.

* * *

Max wandered the halls. After leaving those kids, Max was stopped by Xander. It seemed some guests wanted to see his skateboard tricks. Max couldn't let anyone down, so he performed a few stunts. Once that was done, an hour had gone by. He got back into the house to search for Lucrezia.

A door opened. "Max…" A soft voice from the darkness, barely audible in the party, still managed to get to him. The room was dark, but Max found it welcome. Entering it, he heard a different tune. Burt Bacharach's "The Look of Love" played its romance, fulfilling Max's prediction. His hand excitingly touched the light switch. "And tell me, what do we have here?" He spoke in play. "Is it Lu-"

The end of darkness saw to the end of Max's words, not to mention the end of his mood.

"Bonjour, Maximillian…" Fifi sprawled her nimble body upon a bed, very excited.

Max, not exactly uncomfortable by this presentation, but not happy about it either, backed a few steps. "What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious, monsieur?" Fifi was coy, swinging her legs into the air. "I heard there was a party, no?" Before Max could answer, Fifi jumped him. "Oh, let me be your keg of consuming amour!" She kissed and fondled him passionately.

"Get off of me!" He protested. "What the heck is my dad going to think?"

"He won't care…" she added. "I think he will find it wonderful to see his son- how do you say it?- get along with his students."

"With his brain…or lack of it, I doubt it."

Fifi's carefree ardor was cut short. "Monsieur Goof is a wise man," She grew cold. "How dare you speak such things! You, his own flesh and blood!

The accusation cut into Max. Indeed it was an insult, especially said from someone who actually liked his dad.

And then Lucrezia entered. She seemed upset, and Max probably gathered that it was about this situation. "It's not what you think!"

Seeing this moment, Fifi grew a face of cruel smugness. "I see…"

"See what?" Lucrezia stood her ground.

"I did not know Maximiliian dealt with such quality…"

Lucrezia paused and stanced. "You better not mean what you're implying!"

"Imply what- How shall you say it? Cheap!"

Max ran in front of the impacting girls. He grabbed Fifi and ran for his room. The door was opened. Oh no…

As Max would see, things got bad to worse. He ran downstairs where a dance was commencing. In this babel of partygoers, he could spot a blue rabbit and a pink rabbit popping out, calling out 'Plucky' or 'Hampton.' How did they get here? He repeated the question loudly to a fellow Gamma.

"Some rich kids: the Vanderbunnies!" he shouted.

Max soon realized that how meant nothing: what if their teacher shows up?

One of the kids in Buster and Babs' search was helping some partygoers with their billiard game. Hampton's assistance was done by being wedged into one of the gutters. He became target practice of many a player, cheered by the cries of "Oink Oink!"

"My turn!" Tank grabbed a cue.

"Ladies first…" Babs took the cue stick. She got on the table, pointing her stick on the ball with the skill of a player. "In the center pocket!" She struck. The ball beaned Block.

"Eat your heart out, Tom Cruise!"

Meanwhile, Buster freed Hampton. "Don't worry buddy!"

"Worry about yourselves!" Block recovered. He and several partygoers swarmed around the table. Fortunately, their attack missed Babs and Buster's sudden hop with their literally swinish passenger.

Too bad they landed before Max. He was on his last nerve of civility. "Get outta here!"

"We're missing a duck."

And then Plucky landed in a crash. Now that was settled, Buster and Babs looked to Hampton, who looked even worse, unless a Goth gave him advice on eye-shadow. Max was equally shocked.

"My butterball!" Fifi came to the pig's side. "What has happened?"

"Some guys were using my head for billiard balls. Called me a dirty pig," Hampton's almost-tearful response showed names hurt more than billiard cues and balls.

"Okay!" Buster took on confrontation. "You can manhandle Plucky all you want!"

"Hey!"

Babs joined in. "But nobody- I mean NOBODY- hurts Hampton!"

Max stood his defense. "What makes you think my friends had anything to do with it?"

"Oh, I dunno," Buster played confused. "Maybe it's the joy in their faces."

Indeed, the Gamma residents, gathered around Max, had pleasant expressions contrasting with their leader's seriousness.

"You calling us liars?" Block made his steps. Tank joined him.

"This is a trick question, huh?" Buster added.

"Maybe your pig is the liar." Tank made big steps.

"Hampton's no liar!" Plucky added his ground. "Believe me, I tried."

"Hold it, guys!" Max urged command and order.

Tank stopped. Block, however, wasn't so easily tamed. In fact, his cruel glare fell on Max. "Why you…" Then Xander tapped his back. "Calm down…" His urging in whisper carried much. Block relented.

"Look, Buster!" Max spoke defense. "If my boys got rough, they'd tell me. They weren't the only ones at this party. And they weren't the ones who came uninvited." There were wolf calls and cheers.

Babs was a fury of woman scorned. "Why, you poor excuses for a final act comeuppance!" She growled.

Max cut in. "This is no place for you kids!"

Buster stood his ground. "Well, let me tell you Max: Us kids can beat you bums in anything!"

Max stood to that veiled insult.

"You think you can take us on?" Tank laughed.

"We're the ones who can think, bucko!" Babs added.

"Name the sports, we can beat you!" cried a Gamma.

"Are you serious?" Max raised his voice, to the Toons. "You don't wanna do this!"

Buster stood his ground. "Oh, yes I will!"

"Oh, no you won't!"

"Oh, yes I will!"

"Oh, no you won't!"

Rabbit came closer. OH, YES I WILL!"

Max intimidated as well. "OH, NO YOU WON'T!"

"OH, YES I WILL!"

"OH, NO, YOU WON'T!"

Buster got louder. "OH, NO YOU WON'T!"

"OH, YES I WILL!"

"OH, NO YOU WON'T!"

"YES I WILL!"

"OH, NO YOU WON'T!"

Max stamped his foot, and cried out, deafening the music. "Listen! For this weekend, the Gammas will compete against the Acme University, and send them packing!"

"Fine!" Buster smiled.

There was a loud cheer from his men. Max was equally jubilant…and then his eyes bulged to being duped.

The Tiny Toons turned to the door. Tank blocked the way.

"Time for some girl power, Fifi!" Babs asked her friend.

"Right!" Fifi confronted the man with her tail. "I have a musk, and am not to use it. Understand, no?"

With that, Tank, not to mention anyone nearby, enacted the opening of the Red Sea. The kids left the house. Max kept to his reserve of nerves. His dad always knew how to ruin his day…

* * *

"So that's the problem, Mr. G."

Pete Jr. took Goofy's invitation and met him back at the hotel. He described to him what had happened since Goofy graduated. The father sat very confused. That no-good Bradley Upperclass III resigned from the Gammas. The leaderless fraternity asked Max to join them. Max only relented on one condition: That P.J. and Bobby were accepted. It happened. This was weird, P.J. related, because there was no initiations or pledging for them. "And Gamma is notorious with its pledges."

At first, P.J. enjoyed the privileges, but soon Max was rising in ranks, quickly becoming the head Gamma. And P.J. then saw little time with his best friend. He originally thought it looked like growing responsibilities, but it seemed the Gammas were really excluding him away from Max. "Max got different, like something out of _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_." When he tried to explain things, Max scoffed. "Then he accused me of being jealous, that I wanted to hold him back because I couldn't do as well as him. Me and Bobby instantly left the Gammas. Never talked to Max since."

Goofy noticed anger in P.J., but also saw sadness. "I don't believe Max could be like that."

"You know Max. He's always so obsessed about popularity. The Gammas gave it to him on a silver platter, and he stuffed himself with it." He had something on his mind. "Maybe I'm angry about it, but somehow I think there's more to this than we know. That Max is in big trouble."

This alarmed Goofy. "Then you should help him."

"No way!" P.J. protested. "I've done enough for your son. Let Max get out of this himself!"

"I don't believe you," Goofy became serious. "No matter what, you're his friend. I knew that when I told Maxie to be your friend when we first came to Spoonerville."

P.J. didn't deny it, but he did not give much agreement. "Max really takes you for granted." He stood up and left. "See ya, Mr. G. I really missed you."

P.J.'s departure coincided with the arrival of Buster and co., and their news. Goofy was shocked to see Plucky's recovery, and Hampton's sudden injury. There was more.

"You did what?" Goofy was shocked to Buster's confident revelation.

"Don't worry Teach! We got it made!"

Goofy was uncertain. "But we'll be competing against muh boy!"

"Personally, I think Max needs the humble pie."

Remembering P.J.'s words, Goofy figured some sense in the words. "Ya got a point there…But ya still did this like a chicken without a noggin."

Babs gave her most pathetic look. "Are you gonna have us refuse?"

Goofy looked at their hopeful confidence. "Nah. We compete!"

Babs changed gears, making a cheerleader stance. "Say, gang! What do ya say! Who's with us?"

She got some silence, some 'I don't knows,' and other excuses.

Babs was incredulous. "I _said: WHO'S WITH US?"_

The needed response hit the right explosive effect.

Goofy walked out of the room. This wasn't what he planned for this weekend trip. And lo and behold there stood Max at the end of the lobby. He was not happy. "So you've heard…" He demanded answers.

"Yep." Goofy said with optimism.

The tone sent Max reeling. "Please tell me you're not going along with this match!" Seeing the truth brought him to sigh. "Dad, you've gotta put an end to this!"

"Can't ya do the same?"

"My fraternity is all fired up. No way I can persuade them! If I do, they might turn against me!"

Goofy touched his chin, looking with an awareness he isn't usually credited for possessing.

"If your students fight the Gammas, they're going to be annihilated!"

"Now, give muh students credit. You also proved a lot of older kids wrong too."

"That was different!" Max didn't have a defense after that remark. "Dad. Your students started this mess by crashing my party. You don't believe my friends would hurt Hampton?"

"Well, I'd believe muh boys over your Gamma friends. Did ya see what they did t' Hampton? I don't think the Gammas have changed as much as you wanna believe." Goofy continued on, but Max had become deaf to his words. The word 'Muh Boys' repeated itself many a time in his head. His father's endearment- a title once solely belonging to him- broke the last nerve. "Well, I'm standing by muh boys!"

"Now, hold it Max! P.J. said…"

"You talked to Peej!" Max exploded. "Peej is just a jealous dork who can't stand that I'm finally making it out of loserville!"

Goofy stared at his son. P.J.'s explanations didn't warn him about this! "Maybe you're taking the Gammas way too seriously."

"What, no way am I going back to being Max the Goof!"

"Now son…"

But Max wasn't backing down. He fired back. _"Didn't I tell you to stay out of my life!"_

Goofy paused like a wounded animal. Max's words were a repeat of that horrible, hurtful confrontation they had a year back. But he regained composure, not with a father's anger, but with a father's love. "If that's how ya put it. I reckon ya want me outta yuir hair right?" His own words hurt. "Well, if ya beat muh boys, I'll never visit or call ya again."

Inside, Max would never want such distance, but right now there was no listening to such inner feelings. "Fine!"

Goofy smarted from that agreement, but he faced Max. "And if muh boys win, ya will quit the Gammas!"

Max opened his mouth at such a desire. How could he dare make him agree to such a punishment? Shock changed back to angry resolve. "Fine!"

At that, father and son separated in a storm. Only one really regretted the possible cost of defeat. Goofy sadly returned to his room. He was going to lose his son…

All his students were making strategies for tomorrow's games. So confident they looked. Their spirit was engrossing. Goofy was filled with faith. We will win. He will not lose his son.

* * *

"And that's how it ended. Seems we've got a problem on our hands."

Max recounted this to Xander. He was the go-to guy for any problem. He had helped Max settle in his role as Gamma leader, a position Xander humbly refused. Max, he said, had the ability to make the Gammas into something better than when Bradley was in charge. He was also a comfort when P.J. and Bobby left the group and Max. So as ever, Max told him his problems, hoping he would give some advice that would help.

"Max…" Xander shined his glasses. "Losing this game is out of the question. I'm not saying that because of the Gammas' honor. I can't…I mean, _we_ can't afford to lose you."

"But what about the alternative? I want my dad out of my life, but this sounds a bit severe. This means he won't visit Sylvia ever again."

"So she can visit him instead. Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

"But my dad…"

"Who cares about your dad? This is your life, Max, not his. He shouldn't have come here intruding on it. This match will finally prove to him to stay out and leave you your space."

Max nodded to the good points.

"Besides, from what you've told me, he's got his own life now. He doesn't need you anymore."

Max was silent.

Xander's eyes sharpened at Max's reaction. "Hey, Max, snap out of it! You can't go back to what you were. You can only progress. Be like Claudius Drusus!"

_Claudius Drusus_. The name rang in Max's head. According to Xander, he was the son of Claudius, a clumsy, limping, idiot stammerer. The son desired to prove himself to be nothing like his father. This name and Xander's other words made Max's uncertainty leave him. He patted Xander's shoulder. "Do or die!" He slapped his friend's hand.

Xander smiled in reciprocation. It was not for reasons Max would realize. He left the room, out of the hall, out of the house. It was in shadows that he entered. Free of notice, he took out a cellphone. He spoke to someone. His words did not sound flattering for a best friend. "The Goof kid really got his foot in it. Shall we do something?"

He listened. He agreed. "Fine. Things shall continue to go as planned."

* * *

If a late night's sleep gave Max remorse for his behavior last night, he didn't let it control him. He kept his resolve as he awoke to morning. The days of sleeping in had gone since he became Gamma Maximus. He walked into his bathroom, which had become glisteningly clean (Perhaps the job of a pledge, Max gave little attention to the matter). He had to discuss things with Xander on how to best compete with those Acme kids. Now, Max didn't want to crush his father's students. Kids getting defeated by young adults sounded a bit like bullying, and Max was no bully. Still, this kid-gloves sensitivity did not mean any endearment to those loony kids. They started this mess, not him (or the Gammas), and those kids are going to pay for it. But why did Dad have to take their side over his? If this was the Gammas of Bradley's regime, Max would understand his choice. But that was last year. Things had changed, and he was nothing like that jerk Bradley. The same can be said for his friends. Sure, some of them were rowdy, but none of them would have gone so far as to harm that kid. Or would they?

Max shook his head to get the confusion out. His friends could not do it. Dad did not know what he was doing. As usual.

* * *

Word of the competition between the Gammas and the Acme Looniversity spread like wildfire. The campus gathered its many inhabitants to see the contest. At the square, the two teams arrived. First charged the Gammas, garbed in their black and purple colors. They marched with the flag of their sigma kai. That this was well received would be an understatement. Max's insecurities melted before the cries and cheers. This cry included his team, who screamed 'Hail Gamma Maximus!' He could never give this up. Never. He had to win!

And then his dad's team entered the scene! They didn't wear much unifying colors, and the flag was pretty make-shift. There was some cheer for them, mainly from those who remembered Goofy from last year. Sylvia was one of them. Dad was in the lead. Emphasis on the was, for he tripped, fell, and tripped several of his teammates. Max covered his eyes. Good thing he was on the other team. His dad's students had not such a luxury.

The Council President faced the two teams. He gave a short speech about the reasons for this competition. "Without further ado, the Gammas!"

Max waved. Block and Tank flexed. Xander preened. The response was awarded by applause.

"And over here…" the President walked over to Goofy, asking for knowledge. Goofy whispered the name. "The Goof Troop!"

The Gammas roared with laughter at this name. But Max was pulsed by what he heard. The Goof Troop? It was an old nickname given to his family back in Spoonerville. How could his dad call his team the Goof Troop? They had only one Goof. It didn't make sense for his dad to use the name without him…

Max shook his head, refocusing his attention to the…Goof Troop as they greeted the crowds. "Say hello Babs!" Buster declared.

"Hello Babs!" Babs replied.

The President announced the activities. There would be five rounds. One in nature- a rowing race. One of strength- wrestling. One of intelligence- a quiz. One in athletics- stunts on a bike (Max's personal choice). Tomorrow would be a race around the school. The president finished his speech, giving the cue for everyone to reach the pond for the first round. The two teams marched to their spots.

"This time leave the leading to me, teach," Buster asked Goofy, and was accepted. Goofy was always pleased by his student, as he was with all of them before his eyes. He looked to Hampton. That black eye hadn't gone yet. Goofy accepted it as best he could. He told Hampton that he could stay at the hotel with Plucky. But the pig refused, wanting to help his friends. Such a sweet kid (and very tidy)! Max could be sweet too (though not as tidy). When Goofy got around to it, his boys had a lot in common with his boy. Buster had Maxie's determination and skateboard skills, Plucky had Maxie's mischief, Calamity had…well, Maxie can be quiet too. As for Babs and the other girls, well, Maxie was not a girl. But if Goofy had a daughter, he was sure Babs, Shirley, Fifi, and Elmyra would be like her.

As the Goof Troop marched to their rendezvous, several well-wisher joined in. Sylvia told Goofy that she had to get back to the Library for a major project that Monday, but she wished the best, kissing her boyfriend goodbye. And then PJ came for some small talk.

"So you're fighting the Gammas?" PJ asked with amazement. "You always know how to make a visit, Mr. G." He spoke with respect.

Goofy's explanation about the ultimatum he and Max made gave some displeasure to PJ. "You're going to risk losing Max for this game? Man, even if you win, Max isn't going to like it."

Goofy answered with determination. "I'd rather have muh boy be mad at me than be no good like those Gammas."

PJ had trouble responding to that since of devotion. He looked to Goofy with a warm regard. "Why couldn't you be my father?" he whispered.

"Did ya say somethin'?"

PJ shook his head. Babs Bunny walked next to him. "Hey Peej! How ya doing?"

PJ wasn't properly introduced to this girl, despite Goofy's description from last night. "Well, I…"

"Nevermind the small talk, can we speak in private?"

PJ complied. They walked slower, setting distance between them and the team. "I didn't want to say this in front of Teach, but can I ask you something?"

"Ask."

"I know you were once Max's best friend," Babs danced her fingers to symbolize indents. "And that would mean you understood him better than anyone. And if someone said something wrong about Max, you would no doubt prove them wrong. So you are the right person for my question."

PJ sighed over the topic. "Yes?"

"Why is Max such a slimeball jerk?"

* * *

The first round was a boating race. The lake would be raced by two rowboats, oared by four with a fifth as leader. Max would lead his team of four: Axel, Block, Ray, and Gord. Goofy would have Furball, Fifi, Plucky, and Li'l Sneezer. Sneezer had asked with sad eyes if there was any way he could participate. Goofy gladly gave him a role in oarsman. Now, even Goofy knew this limitation, so he offered to oar with Sneezer as speaker.

On his own craft, Max noted the bizarre crew opposing his own. He saw Plucky actually puking at the side. Did dad just pick and choose? They were quite the opposite of his own trained group, full of muscle and diligence, serious in concentration and diligence. Max beamed on his own pride and skill. Dad didn't have a chance.

This was especially made clear by his father standing on the boat and waving at everyone, nearly losing his balance and falling over.

_Bang!_ The pistol sparked! Oars hit the waters. Strength pressured their push. The boats were off. At first, the boats were equal, but sure enough Max's boat progressed faster.

"Stroke, stroke, stroke!" Sneezer said in his tiny voice. Not quite the powerful force of a leader, even though Goofy thought it was cute. Suddenly, Plucky's oar snapped. Then Furball's. Then Fifi's. The boat slowed. Max's own was already passed the halfway mark.

"Hold on!" Goofy dug his oar, which also met the breaking fate as the others. "Gawsh. I guess we don't hold on."

"Up the creek without a paddle!" Plucky spoke, getting everyone's sour reaction. "Hey, someone had to say it!"

Sneezer, sitting at the end of the boat, looked back at the starting point. They had barely got out of the shore. They were going to lose the race. Gee, all this excitement was very bad for his health…

Max's boat roared closer to the shore. He didn't bother to look back. As long as nothing appeared in his window vision, he was content. So long, dad…

And then the waves gave an undertow. A large sound roared from behind. Max saw his guys stare at the opposite direction. Now Max turned to look. His dad's boat raced like a speedboat, tearing through the water like a knife. This unfortunately had the effect of sending a large amount of the stuff crashing into Max's boat. Max held on to dear life to no avail. The boat capsized. By the time Max breathed fresh air, the Goof Troop had hit dirt, literally 10 feet away from the shore.

The campus gasped and then cheered. The Goof Troop joined their victorious teammates. Goofy humbly waved with Sneezer on his shoulder. Plucky preened unashamedly to all. Fifi blew kisses. Furball also warmed to the cheer of teammates and campus until…

"Pwetty Kitty, you were so wonderful!" Elmyra bearhugged the cat.

Babs and PJ joined the commotion. "Looks like your team won," PJ interrupted his story.

"Yeah team!" Babs screamed, then mood swinged back to their conversation. "So all this started because Max stood by his friends rather than join the Gammas? Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?"

"Yeah…" PJ moped cynically to the irony.

"And you think the source of Max's dirt-bagginess is his issues about being a Goof?"

PJ nodded sadly. "To Max, embracing the goof is like Luke Skywalker embracing the Dark Side"

"I never knew. Teach practically made his boy appear to be the greatest thing since Eddie Murphy joined Saturday Night Live."

"And that's what makes things worse. Mr G. is probably the most loving and kindest fathers I've ever known, and Max treats him like dirt."

"Why that creep!" Babs got the idea with a frown. She then spotted a figure in the water. She skipped to the shore, where she pulled out a fishing rod. "Lemme see…" She tried to recollect. "Ten o'clock! Two o' clock! Quarter to three! Tour jete! Twist! Over! Pas de duex! I'm a little teapot…And the wind up! Let her fly! "

With the perfect cast, her line caught something. She pulled it in. Dangling before her was a very soaked and very cross Max.

PJ gave no comment. Max grew a little awkward on seeing Babs' accomplice. "Should have known you'd come to gloat."

"Get a life, pal." Babs spoke up for PJ, the latter shrugging.

"Let me go," Max smoldered as calm as could be for someone dangling on a fishing line by a bunny.

Babs gave a sharp look at her catch. "_You _want me to let you go?" Her words were of a cool threat.

Max demanded it. "LET ME GO!"

Babs smiled and complied. Max plummeted back into the waters. Babs walked away in pleasure. "I just can't help myself." She quipped to PJ. He nodded. And yet for all his effort to act nonchalant, PJ continued to watch Max's movements until he was safely ashore.

Max came out of the waters like some zombie, transfixed in shock about this victory.

Goofy saw this, and gave his son a towel. Max yanked it away. "What the heck happened?"

Goofy proudly carried Sneezer. "We owe it all to him!"

Max was incredulous. "Him?" He grabbed the mouse.

"Hey-Max-sir-you're-treating-me-roughly-why-are-you-handling-me-rough?-Gee-I-feel-a-sneeze-coming! A-ah…choo!"

Fortunately Goofy had the foresight to grab Max away from Sneezer's nasal onslaught. A feat that added to Max's amazement for his father's students. "This means you cheated!"

Not so, according to the judges. True, Goof Troop did not win by the preferred method of oars. But they showed resourcefulness in their own abilities. Because they won without outside help or some questionable device, an honorable exception would be made. Round One went to Goof Troop!

"No!" Max stood surrounded in the Goof Troop's celebration. He looked away from Sneezer's kiss to his dad to his own team's reaction. Block glared at this loss. His purple face viewed the oar in his hand. He snapped it in two. Max shared the feeling. Oh well, one match in five meant nothing. Let's see how his goofiness works against practical competence!

* * *

A large podium stood for the second round. Thousands surrounded it, with the inner circle by Gammas and Acme. The council president walked to the middle. "In one corner, fighting for the Gammas- Tank!" The strong junior clenched his fists, showing off his prowess to the celebratory crowd. Max smiled.

"In the other corner for the Goof Troop, Gogo Dodo!" Out popped this weird green bird who didn't appear to have hands (assuming they were inside that shaggy fur of his). Was that an umbrella on his head?

Max saw his father lecturing to this bird, looking all positive to the outcome. Dad is ever the optimist. But his son was even more optimistic.

The announcer talked to the two combatants. Max knew the rules. First one out of the ring loses. Now, Max wasn't asking for blood. He told Tank to just overwhelm his opponent, not break him into pieces. Tank gave his okay. "Can't I just twist…?"

Max glared.

"Okay, okay! I was just joking," Tank apologized. Max was appeased. He trusted Tank.

Seemed Goofy trusted him too. "Now Tank!" Goofy cried out. "Be careful with Gogo. He's the last of the Dodos." He turned to another direction. "Ain't that right?"

"Yep!" cried a crowd of Dodos.

The bell rang. Max averted his eyes. He heard the crowd scream. Poor Dodo! His ears caught the thump of the matted floor outside the ring. That was quick.

"And the winner is…Gogo Dodo!"

The flapping of Max's eyelids to bear bulging eyeballs and the almost supernatural turn of his head were instantaneous. There on the ground lay Tank, out of commission. And in the ring was the Dodo. He bounced in some little hopping dance, singing "Go-do-di-do! Go-do-di-do!"

Round Two goes to Goof Troop!

Max ran to his friend. Tank looked out of it, judging by his eyes gazing at nothing. Angrily he turned his direction to Gogo Dodo. The bird was being thrown in the air by Goofy!

"What the heck did you do to Tank?" Max vulnerably shouted. "How did you do it?"

With a grin, Gogo Dodo stepped to Max. "Sure I'll answer for you," he squeaked. He wagged his finger for a closer whispered conversation. Max bowed before the short person. Gogo lifted his long black ear. "It's a…"

Max listened closely.

"SECRET!" Gogo screamed the loudest answer, throwing Max into a great disorientation. Then he ran off, singing some gibberish song.

"He's one of muh best students…" Goofy spoke with pride.

Max buried his head, waiting for the ringing to stop. He should have realized. Normal ability was no match for the Goof factor that rendered impossible possible.

Below, Xander was in a rather uncomfortable talk on his cellphone. "Yes sir, we have lost two rounds…You're going to what?...So Soon?." His surprise changed to obedience. "Yes sir. I'll tell the others." He closed his phone and saw Tank being carried away. Rather than view this as a failure, Xander was pleased. _That_ obstacle to their plan has been conveniently removed.

* * *

Next came the third round. A question contest. Which group answered and won the most points would be the victor. Xander and two other guys would stand for the Gammas. Calamity, Hampton, and Elmyra.

"Elmyra?" Buster questioned the teacher's wisdom.

"She knows all about animals." Goofy defended.

"Oh," Babs seemed to understand. "And while we are on the subject: Elmyra?"

Two tables faced each other, with one direction the SCP giving the questions. Each player was given a buzzer to press their case. The round went on. The problem with Calamity was that he needed signs, and that was not allowed. Hampton was thus the only person capable of success. The first two questions were his victories. But then Elmyra decided to commandeer the pig. Then she got the buzzer. In fact, most of the questions had Elmyra's buzzer ringing. Every answer had something to do with a bunny.

This round went to the Gammas. Their first victory on this day!

Now it was Max who did a little dance. If there was one thing he could count on winning against his father, it is intelligence. And lo and behold! Lucrezia popped up as well. "I wanted to see my boy win," she enjoyably smiled. Max was grateful for such camaraderie. Winning is so everything...

"Now, winning ain't everything," Goofy comforted his team as they stood confused at this sudden change of events. They discussed it to Elmyra, who was in her own world…as usual.

"Elmyra if you didn't know the answer, why did you answer?" Buster made an attempt to understand.

"I dunno," she cheerfully said. "That buzzer kept made pretty sounds."

"Is that why you pressed it?"

"No silly. I didn't press it at all." She giggled.

"One of the great mysteries," Babs quipped.

"Oh don't be too hard, Babs," Goofy was understanding. "If the round was about animals, Elmyra would have won it for us."

Buster and Babs were uneasy on how that meant anything.

Plucky looked to Hampton. His friend was looking very down. For once, Plucky tried to be understanding. It was his fault Hampton got hurt, not that he'll ever admit in a million years. Of course, if he was the one who got manhandled by those jerks, he would still have wanted this competition. Sharing his friend's direction, the duck saw Max and his girl having a romantic moment.

"Is that supposed to be Max's girlfriend?" Hampton asked.

"You better believe it. Lucky guy!"

"But when I was cleaning Max's bathroom, I saw her with that Xander guy."

Plucky took this with surprise. Then a fiendish grin grew on his beak.

* * *

The final act for today would be a test of athletics. With a bicycle, the contestant would present the most dangerous and amazing mid-air stunt showing his ability and agility. Here was Max's moment. He would show Goof Troop that there was one Goof opposite to the stereotype created by his bumbling father. His popularity always stemmed from his agility in wheels. He looked around. There was much fanfare. So wonderful to cherish this moment. There was also a new group of very hot chicks with good legs and great bods. They looked very excited, which raised Max's spirits. That is until they raised a sign and chanted the name on it. "Dizzy!"

Dizzy! That purple-haired creature with the pink and green eyes? Max's pride felt a prick. Forget it, Maxmillian! This is your element! Show them the stuff that separates the leaders from the Goofs! He hit the pedals. The bike raced up the ramp. Into the air it flew. Max removed both hands off the handles. Going lower, he regained connection, touched the other ramp and raced down. The cheers came as a melody to his ears. He ran the bike up a circular ramp, riding it upside down. Then he came to another ramp promising another mid-air jump. This time Max kept his hands to the handles. He extended the rest of his body off its seat. Quickly he restored his proper position and reached the downward slide. One more to go. This time, the mid-air saw Max making a 180 degree turn. This two was done without trouble. Max returned to the slide and stepped on the brakes at the finishing point. He pulled off his helmet. The crowd were enthusiastic and grateful for his performance. Each of their faces were captured on his memory. And did he spot P.J in there? For a moment, Max thought that was the greatest tribute, and then he remembered what happened between them. He shrugged away.

His Gamma colleagues stood in line with a hand to slap. Max catched them all. "Beat that, Goof Troop!"

Dizzy Devil sat on his bike. When his turn started, Dizzy threw the bike away. He then rotated himself into a fierce whirlwind. He sped through the first ramp with no problem, then he went to the circular slide, not once, but three times, his speed creating the pattern of a web of wind. Next came the ramp where Dizzy fell and touched the ground, before springing up and down up and down. At the final crossing, the whirlwind levitated over the gap as if on an invisible bridge. And then Dizzy returned his steps, devouring the entire obstacle course until only a few metal spokes were left!

There was a brief silence, so quiet a pin could shatter eardrums. What followed eclipsed that achievement, as a deafening cry of utter celebration echoed through the place. Louder than every cheer since this competition began, and definitely louder than what his competitor achieved. Max's jaw dropping to its lowest limit.

The president had his own view. "Because Dizzy Devil performed his amazing stunt without the required bicycle, he is disqualified. By default, the winner is Gamma!"

And there came a gnashing of boos and hisses, from the Goof Troop, from Dizzy, and Dizzy's fan club. Dizzy felt an urge to eat the teach's son, but he relented for the teach's sake. His fan club was not so restrained. A dummy figure arose from their fierce grouping. It was shaped like Max. It burst into flames.

Max could hardly feel anything. That's not possible. It couldn't be. All that training, all that effort, and he gets upstaged by this tumbleweed trash compactor? When Max did get to feel something, it was colored Red.

* * *

The crowd carried Dizzy around. Goofy and Buster joined their celebration. Eventually they came to a platform, where they stood before them all like actors on a stage. "Thank you, everybody!" Buster cried. "You're a great audience. I hope we have entertained you. So let's give you this great advice." He turned to Goofy. "Teach?"

Goofy bowed. Instantly, their garbs transformed into harlequins, with red noses, curly wigs, and painted faces. Both bore a pie in their hand.

_"Be a clown, be a clown. All the world loves a clown."_

_"Act the fool, play the calf, and you'll always have the last laugh."_

_Wear the cap and the bells_

_And you'll rate with all the great swells!_

_"If you become a doctor, folks'll will face you with dread._

_"If you become a dentist, they'll be glad that you're dead."_

_"You'll win a bigger hand if you can stand on your head!"_

_"Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown!"_

The audience loved this, except one: Max coldly stepped passed the crowd, walking ever closer and closer. His cross views got even crosser as his father and Buster danced. He hated that kid as he could ever hate a blue-furred bunny kid. Oh sure, his goof of a dad had much to answer for. But that kid and his friends ruined his party. Those kids made the games a farce. Those kids. Especially Buster Bunny. Who does this jerk think he is? Dancing with his dad, blending to his silliness as if he was some long-time partner…or his son. He was not a rabbit, he was a weasel…

Plucky spotted Max. Some fun was needed. He took out a brown wig and dropped it on Max's head.

"Oh, Elmyra! Monty's back!"

Before Max could understand, he was grabbed by the strange girl and pulled and yanked around into a crazy dance. His gym bag was left on the floor.

_Be a clown, be a clown. All the world loves a clown._

_Show em tricks, tell em jokes._

_And you'll only stop with top folks!_

_Be a crack Jackanapes_

_And they'll imitate you like apes!_

_Why be a great composer with your rent in arrear?_

_Why be a major poet and you;ll owe it for years?_

_When crowds'll pay to giggle if you wiggle your ears?_

_Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown!_

Laying their pies down, Goofy and Buster pulled their ears. As if they were strings of a harp, they plucked them, their tongues doing an instrumental, or an instrumental in tongues. Max saw that act as well, when he wasn't ready to hurl his guts from Elmyra's dancing. The duo grabbed their pies, and continued their song.

_Be a Clown, be a Clown! All the world loves a clown!_

_Be a poor silly arse_

_And you'll always travel first-class!_

_Give em quips, give em fun_

_And they'll pay to say you're A-1!_

_If you become a farmer, you've the weather to buck_

_If you become a gambler, you'll be stuck with your luck_

_But jack you'll never lack if you go H-yuck! _

"Stop, stop, stop! Hold it!" Suddenly Plucky jumped to the players. "Wrong lyric! You long-eared vermin are always getting the spotlight! The actual line was "But jack you'll never lack if you can quack like a duck!"

And then Buster hit him with his pie. _"Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown!"_

And then Max hit the ground before them. Babs joined the others at this new visitor. They began to chant. "Monty and Elmyra sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

The laughter sent Max rising as he tore off the wig.

Everyone was silent with surprise. And then: "Maxie and Elmyra sitting in a tree! K-I-S…"

"QUIET!" Max unleashed his anger. His wish was granted, bringing a silence to the area. Pleased, he stood like a grim statue.

"Oh, you think yourselves so high and mighty because you tied with my team with your incredible actions?" He coldly criticized. "It ain't over till the fat lady sings!"

Babs held her breath, ready to inflate. Buster's shake of head told her to for once do some self-control.

"Nice crowd you're getting," Max was mocking. "Do you think the school really likes you? Now that's funny! Don't you see? All you've been doing is making yourself look like idiots! Everyone is laughing at you!"

"And?" Babs asked.

"And?" Max locked her in shock.

"Now, now, Max," Goofy tried to calm his son, still holding that pie in his hand.

Max's eyes pointed daggers at his pop. "You! My own father! Always ruining everything I've tried to do!"

Goofy was taken aback by his words. "But Max…"

Max only growled in his mad rage.

"It's okay, teach," Buster was supportive to the put-upon dad. "Don't hit him with a pie."

"You stay out of this!" Max snapped at the rabbit.

"You stay out of this, Max!" Buster cried. "Your dad doesn't have to hit you with a pie."

"What?" Goofy cried in shock.

"Reality check, Buster!" Max was near screaming. "He's MY dad and he can SO hit me with the pie!"

"But son…"

"Do it!" Max demanded. And he got the pie in the face. Again, there was laughter. Max slowly pulled the whipped cream off his face, staring disownment intentions on his father…again.

"But son, you asked,"

Max swatted his father's help. "Dammit, why can't you guys get straight!"

"As straight as you, Mr Debbie downer?" Babs shouted. "In your dreams, pal!"

Buster agreed. "We thought Goofy's kid to be as whimsical and happy as him! Not some black sheep!"

Max looked around desperately for a foot to stand on. These kids are not getting it!

"It's you who isn't, like, getting it," Shirley answered.

Confusion took Max. How did she…?

"Like, why don't you embrace your inner goof!"

Such advice had Max shooting the Loon a face of refusal. "It's bad enough I have to look like one! Now you want me to be a goof? In your dreams, pal!" He mocked Babs' word. "No way I'm ever being the fool!"

"Too late for that one…" Plucky smirked.

And Max turned to him. "What do you mean by that?"

Plucky's words were mirth and calculated. "Your girlfriend."

Fifi was interested. "Really? Tell us more…"

Plucky answered. "She? Max: suck-ER!"

His happiness instantly stopped at the instant grabbing of his throat. Max growled wildly. "You stupid duck!"

His throttled head swinging like a punching bag, Plucky tried to plead. "H-Hampton…said…he…her…with…"

"Your pig friend again?" Max continued to throttle him as any boyfriend would to anyone who spoke ill of his girlfriend. "You're all Liars!"

"Hold it!" Buster cried. Goofy silently ran to the pupil's rescue.

"Bust this Buster!" Max flung his fist backwards on the voice he heard behind him. He intended to grab the rabbit's ears. Instead, his hand hit a face. And then Max saw that Buster was nowhere near his hand's projection.

Goofy fell to the ground, his left eye closed where it had been hit. There were gasps from his students. Theirs were the loudest. Max's was the most quiet. He let go of Plucky, his movements still, his thoughts raging. Shock. Horror. Remorse. All this Max felt as he beheld the sight of Buster running to his dad's side. This served to block the intense remorse. Stubborness. Reaffirmation.

"C-Congratulations, dad," Max tried to give strength to his voice, sounding with hurt. "You finally got a son just like you!" He marched away.

Goofy watched, than sadly bowed his head. Things had gone all terribly wrong.

"Why that rodent rip-off of a Tiny Toon…" Babs shrieked full revenge.

"No," Goofy morosely arose, feeling his sore eye. "He didn't mean to do it. It's all muh fault. I should na brought you kids here."

"What?" Babs was struck by shock. Then she saw Goofy's sadness. "Don't let that brat get to you, teach! Max or no Max, we can't let those Gammas get away with what they did to Hampton."

"Yeah," Shirley added, "like, Max's center is so himself."

"He is nothing like vu," Fifi gave her support. "You are kind and gentle. A wonderful person."

"Gawsh," Goofy's spirits did lift with the compliment.

"Monsieur Max, to put it bluntly, stinks!"

"That's enough!" Now it was Goofy's turn to be angry. "Don't talk any bad 'bout muh boy. It's those Gammas he's hangin' with. We gotta win tomorrow to get him out of there."

"Great!" Buster applauded the positive attitude…vocally.

"Good to know you won't sink to his level!" Babs approved just as loudly. They wouldn't think of letting their teacher sink to such dirty tricks. After all, she and Buster can do just that for him! Their subtle expressions did not miss the eyes of the coughing duck. What a wonderful revenge he had for Max…

They were gone by the time Goofy called out everyone to gather to leave for the hotel.

"Eh," Fifi spotted a gym bag. "Monsieur Max has mislaid his bag." It ripped open. Saws, some weird devices.

The Toonsters were shocked at the complications. "And here we were worried Max couldn't stoop to cheating," Sweetie mentioned.

And then the council president was coming. Seeing him, Goofy gathered all the stuff back into the bag. "Dizzy, here's some dinner!" The Devil swallowed it whole.

"Max's got nothin' t' do with it!" Goofy declared to his students, demanding their silence. Max would never stoop to this! But he knew someone who would…

* * *

Max walked away as calmly as possible. Of course, as possible meant looking like walking from a very bloody train crash. His brain flashed the image of the last few minutes like an A-B repetition on a DVD player. His attempts to rationalize came to one simple approach: _He punched his dad! He punched his dad!_

"Max!"

His train of thought stopped, but once Max saw Xander as the caller, the train continued.

"I punched my dad in the face!"

"What?" Xander cried.

"Well, it really wasn't a punch. More like a backhand smack..." Max tried to explain some meaning out of the disaster. "I...I lost my temper. I-I thought I was hitting…somebody else, and Dad just happen to have been in the way!"

"Interesting…" Xander claimed.

"Interesting?" Max was incredulous to his friend's nonchalance. "I can't face him tomorrow. There's just no way!"

"Max, Max, Max!" Xander repeated his name in effort to calm him. "This is it! Your dad has been ruining your life from day one. You've showed him that you are your own man, and that he should leave you alone, once and for all."

"This is not what I wanted!"

"Yes you did," Xander raised his voice. "I'm sorry to say this, but it was bound to happen. Your father should have gotten the idea last year. This time you meant business. He'll understand now. Now calm down! We don't need our leader to be an Eeyore!"

Max absorbed his friend's words as best he could. Some of it seemed true. Dad should have known enough was enough. His life was not Max's. He was no Goof, he is Gamma Maximus! Dad never understood. Neither did PJ. Not especially those looney kids. What was so confident about being a laughing-stock? Buster doing that stupid dance with dad, acting like buddies for life. Fine, let Dad have those kids! He'd be much happier with them. They would love him more than his son could…and his dad would love them more than his son…

Max rubbed some wetness off his cheeks. Cream got stuck in his eyes.

Max allowed a little silence. When he did speak, he was apologetic. "I'm sorry about that. I lost my head." Max massaged his temple.

"Don't be." Xander grinned. "Let's head home."

The two walked along the campus. "Do you remember Plucky and that pig Hampton? They said Lu was cheating on me."

Xander stared at Max. "Really? Amazing what kids would think of next."

Max ignored Xander's positive demeanor. If he only knew it resembled someone ready to smash a proud bug.

Soon they returned to the house. Max walked up the porch. Block stood at the door, in a wretched mood. Max felt the same way.

Block stood before him, very authoritative. Max stared at him, but Block refused to move.

"Let me in!" Max raised his voice. He had no time for games.

Block smirked, and moved away.

He entered the hall. All his men were gathered. "Okay, guys, it's time for a new strategy!"

"Correct," said Xander.

"Indeed," There sounded a new voice. "Let's start with a new leader!"

And then out of nowhere there stood Bradley Uppercrust III!

Great! Max fumed. Now he had to deal with this creep! "You have a lot of nerve coming back here!"

"And you have a lot of nerve thinking I left," Bradley greeted Max's hostility with cool pride.

Max turned to Xander. He was missing. Max looked to Block, nodding his head to cue him into taking this invader away. He tilted his head a few more times. Nothing. Max groaned. "Get this jerk out of here!"

No one complied. He got snickers and howls instead.

At the end of his rope, Max screamed. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"It is a joke." Bradley calmly walked over to the captive. "One big joke that started the moment you joined the Gammas."

Max's discovery of this could leave him vulnerable to the attack of a feather!

Bradley strutted before Max with an air of superiority. "First you rejected my invitation. Then you broke my winning streak." His expression vibrated a little uneasy. "That…had to be corrected. So I staged it so you would think the Gammas threw me out and wanted you in."

Max's heart was stopping, his breath leaving him. This can't be true! Not now!

"It never bothered you how easy you were accepted without even a hazing? Boy, did you fall for it!"

"Hey guys!" Lucrezia entered.

Max gasped at his girlfriend's endangered presence. "Lu, we're getting out of here!" he turned to her side. "The Gammas are revolting!"

"Oh dear!" Lu feigned shock. "That means they'll turn on me too! What to do? I know!" she turned to Bradley and kissed him in the mouth. Again Max went still, suddenly remembered Plucky's words. "No…" His eyes took on a resemblance of his father's larger optical nerves. "I thought you loved me!"

Lucrezia gave him a glance of her usual cold demeanor, an expression that had always been consistent. "Moron."

Max barely made much of a response. Every strength that existed in him, his confidence, his pride, his love: it was all coming to a direct crash. But Max still persevered. "Xander!" he cried out.

To his relief, his best friend made his appearance, smiling with his compassion.

Xander looked very cool. "Claudius Drusus, who tried to prove himself above his father's clumsiness. He tried to catch a pear with his mouth and choked on it." He made a diabolical smirk. "In trying to prove himself above his old man's foolishness, he did an even stupider thing."

There was laughter. Max's eyes stunned. "Xander!"

"Oh, Xander, your friend wants you to help him!" Block joked.

Xander seemed happy about that. "True, the Goof sees me as his best friend, but he was never mine." With a proud head, he turned his back. He grabbed hands with Lucrezia and together they left the room.

And the remaining foundation in Max's heart crumbled. The truth bared itself and it was awful. And it was rewarded by the laughter. Against such despairing odds, his father would take sorrow in response. Max reacted differently. "Why you back-stabbing…"

Suddenly strong arms grabbed him, lifting him upwards. "Let me go!"

"I wanted to beat your puny butt for a long time." Block whispered with sinister glee into Max's ears. Max understood its meaning, but it fell against his pride. He wiggled and shook for freedom. Axel pulled out a bottle and smeared it onto a cloth. He shoved it into Max's mouth. Quickly the struggle began to dwindle. Max felt so sleepy under the chloroform's scent.

"Release it!" Bradley demanded. "I want Max to be awake."

His word was obeyed. The relieved Max erupted into some weakened gasps.

Bradley walked very close, glinting his sinister smile with eyes of cruel desire. "I want you fully aware of what I've got in store for you."

Max's drugged eyes arose, bearing Bradley's threat with a sad lucidity.

* * *

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Passion of the Max

Goofy and Max (and "Eye to Eye") are owned by Walt Disney Company. _Tiny Toon Adventures_ (and theme song) are the property of Warner Brothers.

* * *

Buster, Babs, and Plucky made their departure. The travel was made underground, such stealth predicting an act of espionage and sabotage in the most cliché fashion. And the fact that the majority were rabbits was part of the reason too.

Plucky followed Buster and Babs as they toiled through the tunneling, which suited his laziness just fine. The duck massaged his fingers in a diabolical expression of acting. Now would be the perfect revenge on Max Goof! It had to be the perfect punishment for the crime he committed. Sure, Max walloped the teach and looked the other way as his goons beat the bacon out of Hampton, but that no-good demon spawn strangled the feathers out of him! It was a perfect excuse to wreak vengeance, better than that Goof-worshipper Buster's reasons. Perhaps Buster should be calling himself Buster Goof!

Plucky's self-centered views aside, the accusation on Buster's admiration was somewhat true. For Buster, Bugs Bunny was his mentor hands down. But he looked up to Goofy as well. Goofy was less this unattainable idol and more down-to-earth. Someone he could talk to without feeling this 'I am not worthy to kiss your boots' reverence he got whenever he went to Bugs. The guy also was happy to know Buster, giving him praise more times than his mentor had done. Even if the praise was made in comparison to Goofy's son Max, Buster was okay with it. He thought the son would be as cool as his father. But Buster now found the comparisons truly wrong. Unlike Max, he would never hit Goofy, not even for a $100 million contract for his own series (with 50 percent royalties in merchandise, video & TV rights, and spinoffs). His disdain was added by Babs' information from PJ. That attack was the season finale to one long storyline of how Max treated his father. Buster agreed not to make this a cliffhanger. "Max is in need of one major attitude adjustment, and I have the tools."

Soon, the pair reached their spot. Instantly, the bunnies and the duck popped out of the ground. Before them was the Gammas Fraternity. From the sounds of it, the boys were celebrating. The idea on what Max might be celebrating was conspicuous to them, which made the urge for a comeback all the more demanded. They looked left, right, and forward. "The coast is clear."

"Except for what's behind us," Plucky noted the dark figure lurking behind them...

* * *

The rest of the gang had settled in the hotel. Sylvia joined them, applying a cold pack to Goofy's blackened eye. "Oh my poor Goof."

"Aw, it- ouch!- don't hurt that much," Goofy did his best to prove it.

But Sylvia was not undaunted. "I cannot believe Max would hurt you like this!"

_Believe, _Calamity Coyote expressed with a raised some more. _Furthermore, it's likely that Max had a lot to do with the mischief against us, such as the sawed-off oars and Elmyra's buzzer._

The boy certainly knows how to speed-write, Sylvia complimented to herself.

"Oui oui," Fifi made her words sting for anyone in denial. "Monsieur Max is revolting, duplicitous- how shall you say it?- dirtbag!"

Goofy shook his head against such an accusation. "It weren't his fault. It was an accident." As ever, he took the responsibility of his offspring. Whenever his son got angry at him, Goofy would always see it based on his own wrong. Last year it was Goofy's fault that Max told him to get out of his life. If he had just stopped being selfish and give his son his own space by going to a different college, than those horrible words would never happened. The same feeling came now. Goofy tried his best not to bother his son this time. On planning to visit Max again, Goofy made sure he got his son's approval. So he sent a letter and waited a week for Max to give him some sort of answer. He thought that no reply meant there being no problem. Again he was wrong.

"Affirmative," Shirley added to Max's vindication over the Plucky issue. "Like, I've knocked some sense into Plucky, myself." However, that didn't mean she liked seeing anyone else do it, not even the teach's own son.

Goofy was unmoved. So Shirley quickly tried to relieve his problems with words. Fifi rolled her eyes to what was going to be one trance-like monologue, bearing some extreme psycho-babble that only a new wave loon like herself could understand. Indeed, what Shirley said was hard sailing for everyone else, even the learned Calamity and Sylvia. "And like, when you consider your aura and- _Dad, help me_…- in its many complexities in the transfer of time and space…."

Shirley's sudden swing of mood- not to mention voice- caught the attention of all. "Now that was a very nice impression of Max!" Goofy congratulated the Loon.

Fifi was more serious. "I doubt zat was an impersonation, Monsieur Goofy."

Shirley shook her head. "Wow, I just got one mondo vibe."

"I don't understand," Sylvia was confused.

Goofy found himself more understanding. "Shirley's one of those mediums that ain't rare or well done." His calm enlightenment changed to shock. "Did you really say what Max said?"

Shirley nodded. "I must be channeling something from Max."

Goofy showed puzzlement. "Max is on TV?"

"No, it's, like, got some real mental cry of help." Shirley then took out her crystal ball. She peered onto it, her curious face bearing more unease. "Oh gross!" Her face grew concerned. "Max is like in peril!"

"Lemme see!" Goofy grabbed the ball. He gasped. "Maxie _is_ in trouble! I can see it now!" Actually he could not. Goofy was just seeing his distorted reflection on the ball, and his worried look made the sight even worse. "I've gotta help him!" He turned to Calamity. "Remember when I went to Elmyra's house and was missing for days?"

Calamity gestured a salute of understanding. He took out a device: The Goof Detector. Its activation created a consistently beep: _Hyuck, Hyuck, hyuck, Hyuck, Hyuck…_

* * *

Max didn't really give much of a reaction to things. Not to the Gammas bearing black robes as if this were some sacred ceremony. Not his own clothes being pulled off his body. Not even when his bottom received a severe beating with a paddle twenty times. The comfort of sitting down was probably forever denied him.

Still held down, Max felt his head pressed also. He could see Lucrezia bearing an electric razor with clippers. "Isn't this romantic, Max? I get to give you a shave!" And with glee she proceeded to clip the hair off Max's head. Soon the resemblance of his bald noggin to his father's was clearly evident.

And still Max reacted to nothing.

Some of the pledges were granted ketchup bottles and asked to draw on Max. Only one resisted and ran away, but the majority followed through, lining Max's body with red sauce. Soon Max resembled a victim from a _Mutilator_ movie.

Finally the ketchup-riddled, under-wear Max sat uncomfortably onto a stool. A red towel was thrown on his shoulder and back. Above his bald head a paper crown was planted. It soaked with the red drops running on Max's stoic face.

"All hail Gamma Maximus!" The Gammas screamed their familiar cry, this time with a tone both mocking and cruel.

Oh well, Max thought. He had missed hazing when he was first initiated into the Gammas. It was about time they did it now. And they were still cheering him on!

And reader, if you just read the previous paragraph, you might have an idea about Max's present state of mind. One has to look at the facts: he had abandoned everyone dear to him for the Gammas. Now he has learned that not only they have turned against him, but his entire popularity was one big fat joke! The consequences of such a situation- that all his sacrifices were for nothing, that all he yearned for had been a lie - was a very troubling thing to accept. So the best way to deal with it was to take a big pill of denial. So Max continued to look on in a daze. They were all laughing and smiling. Even Lucrezia was laughing, an emotion he never really saw from her. Max blushed that she was seeing him in his underwear.

And among the good-natured revelry there stood that no good Bradley. What was he doing here? Max wondered. He had an idea, but he preferred not to touch it. It felt rather scary to do so.

"Ironic isn't it?" Brad looked like a child taking devilish glee ripping a girl's doll. "You opposed us because we wouldn't include your loser friends. And then look what happened? _You_ dumped your loser friends for us! Only we don't want you anymore!"

"I said it better, Bradley," Xander began a performance with words he gave Max months ago, "Um, Max, I think it's clear that PJ and Bobby are jealous of you. They cannot bear you exceeding to a level they can't follow. They want you to stay at their level of mediocrity. You don't want to stay that way, do you? It's PJ and Bobby's loss, not yours. You don't need them." His underplaying went the other way in a degree of mirth. "And the moron fell for it, line, hook, and sinker! What a brainless puppet!"

Max ignored such words. Xander was just joking and he was getting better in humor.

And his best friend added some more praise. "But it was you who did the best, my dear," Xander held Lucrezia's hand and kissed it.

Lucrezia gave an icy smile mixed with distaste. "And it was such hard work, convincing this Goof that I actually loved him. Ick! To act like whatever inane thing he did turned me on." She turned her gaze to more comfortable territory. "You on the other hand…" she kissed Xander.

Max was stung, though not in a serious way. Hey, watch it Xander! Max spoke to himself. Don't get any ideas about stealing my girl!

Brad clapped his hands. "Bravo, Milady." He returned his attention to Max. "You know, I do wish I waited until the end of the school year to do this. The bigger the rise, the bigger the fall." His gentlemanly tone was tinged with an inner hostility. "But you had to humiliate the Gammas by losing the competitions with those kids! I had no choice but to step out from the shadows. Oh well, things worked well, didn't they? And by coincidence, it happened after you burned your last bridge." He strutted around his fool. "Poor poor Max. No friends. No girl. No popularity. Only an idiot would love somebody like you. By the way, how is your father?"

And a sudden discomfort fell onto Max. For the first time, reality crept into his la-la-land of denial. He veered to some unwelcome territory. His brain seeing and hearing things. _Bust this, Buster!_ His cry followed by the sound of his hand hitting someone he should not hit. Oh well…it was bound to happen, Max realized. Just like Xander said.

"My dad would disown me if I lifted a finger against him…" Brad gave a disapproving stance to Max.

"Don't worry about the old man, Brad." Xander beamed his smile that was once believed to be friendly, but now was full of sinister intent. "Goofy has those kids. They accept him, unlike Max here. Did you hear that, Max? I'm afraid that your dad has replaced you for something better. You are obsolete."

And Max's insides started to chill at the unmistakable truth. Denial was losing its potency. But he still kept his complacent face. And Bradley, for all his higher position, was the one losing his cool in his failure to break Max's.

Punch came down the stairs with a box. "Look at what we have here!" He cheered. Max recognized some of the items in it. One was a skateboard. His skateboard. Xander took an axe and chopped it in one blow. He was cheered. Brad took out a trophy. He smiled, than dropped it. The object broke in half, its pieces kicked aside. There came a mocking cry of discipline. "Shame, shame on you!" they snickered. Block removed a signed baseball. Max's dad got that for him during the trip to Lake Destiny. He spit on it, rubbing off the signature.

Xander pulled out a small picture, crying like a wolf. "Who's the babe?"

Max found the struggle increase. That 'babe' was the mother he never knew! And with this rare piece, Xander walked to the fireplace. Max's hair stood as the photo was removed from its frame. Suddenly, a hooded Gamma snatched the picture from Xander's hand. This Gamma was a tall one, one who was probably drunk, as noted by his problem with balance. This person turned his back from Max, facing the flames. When Max saw him in front again, there was nothing in his hands!

And Max made a small gasp, which could be mistaken for a yawn. To everyone else there was a great roar of applause. Like a cat in frenzy, his eyes darted to Bradley laughing, his best friend Xander laughing, his girlfriend Lucrezia laughing! And it poured into Max's ears, rolling through his ignorance like a steam roller. This was not some harmless prank. He was not being hazed and embarrassed in good humor by his buddies. He was being humiliated, played for a fool by a bunch of scumbags!

Bradley fought against his mirth, trying to win some satisfaction. "Oh, why don't you cry?"

Max faced him with a stare of lucid shock.

This set Brad off. "Cry!" He threw his fist. It was the last thing Max saw before everything went black. As his consciousness failed, a desperate cry ringed in his head. _Dad, help me…_

"Oh dear," Brad made an apology worthy of a hypocrite. "All this excitement put Max to sleep." More laughter sounded from the group, who decided to continue throwing more of Max's possessions into the fire. The same hooded creep who put the photograph of Max's mom in its place joined in. He pulled out this huge plastic jar. _Acme's Empire-size Popcorn Bowl._ That too fell into the flames. And a sudden explosion of kernels popped out like bullets from a machine gun. The Gammas turned away from the onslaught, which grew and grew.

The culprit removed his robes, or more precisely, _their_ robe. Formerly atop the other, Buster Bunny and Plucky Duck separated and ran straight for Max's unconscious form. They untied his hands, and began to lift him.

The popcorn grew numerous and the space around it grew more limited. Some Gammas became buried in its onslaught. Xander was making an escape when a hooded Gamma grabbed him. "Hey, Grima Wormtongue!" He cried out, removing his hood.

Xander paused at the impostor. It was Pete Jr.! "What are you doing here?" he shouted.

"Being a bro!" In truth PJ's doughy stature was probably no match for the lean and chiseled Xander, but the former took the precaution of kicking the guy between the legs. Xander painfully knelt to the floor before the victor. "That's what Max's real friend would do!" PJ capped his success with truth.

Meanwhile, Buster and Plucky carried Max away. "Door No.1: Gammas!" cried Buster. They turned around. "Door No.2: More angry Gammas! And popcorn behind us!"

"Is it too late to get an application?" Plucky gasped nervously at their problem.

Suddenly, a chainsaw tore through the wood around the three, forming a circle. Bunny, Duck, and Goof fell to the basement. The impact startled Max back to consciousness. He awoke to see a homicidal maniac bearing a chainsaw. He screamed.

The 'maniac' removed her mask, revealing Babs. "Fooled you good!"

As Max began to get more awareness, he recognized the people around him. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting outta here!" said a familiar voice. Max was astonished to see PJ dropping from a hole in the ceiling.

Quickly they ran to a window on the wall. Buster and Babs leapt first into it. Max was shoved through. Then it was PJ's turn to enter, this happening before he learned he was too big. His sudden disposition was much to the dismay of Plucky. "Get me outta here, fatso!" He frantically pressed against PJ's butt. Already the popcorn poured out of the hole. Plucky pulled out a pin and pushed it. That got PJ thru!

The five ran into a rabbit hole, putting distance away from the house and its inhabitants. PJ rubbed his rear end over Plucky's dirty trick. It was his hulking form that had surprised the trio. Spotting their burrow trail, PJ followed them to the Gamma's house. Buster explained that it was time to give Max some comeuppance. PJ decided to see where this would end. What they saw, however, was Max getting a worse comeuppance than any of them would wish. PJ motivated the gang to change their plan into a rescue.

He said none of this to Max. The teenager appeared like an outsider in this group of five. Wearing a Gamma robe over his naked form, he kept to himself.

"Oh cheer up, Max!" said Babs. "So what if you got what you deserved? You got our sympathy."

Indeed, Plucky was rather beside himself in anguish. "It's not fair. How could they do this to Max?"

Babs was moved. "Gee, Plucky, I didn't know you cared!"

Plucky continued in his grief. "So unfair! I had my plan of revenge all mapped out, and those goons had to steal my thunder!"

"Gee, Plucky. I still don't know you care…" Babs changed to sarcasm.

Plucky shrugged to the bright side. "Oh well, do you think the Teach will give us extra credit for saving his kid?"

His words stopped Max in his tracks. "No…" he backed away, growing hysterical. "I can't go back!"

"Max…" PJ was in disbelief.

"Don't worry! I've got the antidote!" Babs slapped Max in the face. She paused, beaming a smile. "Hey! That actually felt good!"

"Lemme see!" Buster racked Max's cheek with his hand. He grinned. "You're right, Babs!"

"Okay my turn!" Plucky pulled out some metal gauntlets.

"Stop it!" Max shrugged, walking on that line between anger and sorrow. "I can't go back! I can't face him."

Plucky shrugged at the missed opportunity. Can't he pay back Max in some way?

"Fine, you'll stay with me." PJ offered sanctuary. Buster and Babs changed course. Eventually they reached the building where PJ and Bobby were living in. Max silently walked out of the hole to gaze at the new place.

The Tiny Toon trio decided to make their departure. "We'll tell your dad…"

"No!" Max interrupted. It was reluctantly accepted. Before leaving, Buster made one decision. "I saved this pix." Max recognized it as it dropped into his hands. His mom's photo. A gratitude fell on Max. Nevertheless, he only responded in a whispered "Thank you."

* * *

PJ and Bobby's room was a little larger than the last one, though the lack of another person might be the reason. Max leaned against a wall, his rear end still too tender for sitting. If only that was the only scar, he despaired. He looked like the type of person ready to fall apart but still making a valiant effort not to do so. A shower and Bobby's clothes did little for relief. This day had gone from worse to unbearable. He felt so lost right now, not sure of what to do next. Not sure of anything right now, or maybe ever again.

The door opened. "Howdy dude!"

And Max felt worse.

Bobby strolled into the apartment. "Hey PJ, short time no see!"

PJ locked hands with his friend. "How's your mother?"

Suddenly, Max realized yesterday was Bobby's mother's birthday. Something he had forgotten.

"The old woman's fine!" Bobby's attitude changed when he spotted Max. "Hey, what's the ex doing here?"

Max said nothing, not even to Bobby's cold words. "Hey, ex-dude, you're putting major whammy-age on my threads."

Max tried to stay quiet. Unfortunately, the patience of humility before nasty remarks was yet another trait he did not inherit from his dad.

PJ intervened with a brief summary of what happened. Bobby went back to some righteous flair. "Deposed. Off with his head, man!" He shot his palm like an axe before Max. "So best bud Xander dumped ya! What did you ever see in the guy?"

Max bowed his head. "I dunno." He made an effort to excuse himself. "He was…"

"Normal and popular." PJ dryly spoke the point. "Not like us weirdoes."

"It's not you!" Max raised his voice a little, still feeling the need for defense. "It's just that my dad…" He buried his face to his basic excuse.

PJ's calm face strained with an angry demeanor that resembled his father. Quickly it calmed. "You're nothing like your dad, Max."

Max was not consoled by such affectionate words.

"First off, your dad the Goof would have stood by his friends, permanently."

Max was struck by PJ's true words as if slapped in the face.

"You've been whining this sob story for years. _Oh, my dad's ruining my life! My dad's a Goof!_" Me and Bobby know your dad. You know my dad," PJ said it with acid. "We never knew Bobby's dad, 'cept when he bailed out on him."

"Dude, I'm making a presence here," Bobby mentioned his discomfort.

"Sorry."

"Forgiven."

Having apologized, PJ continued. "The point is your dad had nothing to do with you choosing the popular Gammas over your loser friends!"

Max felt himself tightening.

"Your problems with your dad did not cause you to blind-spot your 'friends' true slimeball natures for the sake of your popularity. And now that Emperor Gamma Maximus found out he has no clothes on, you still feel the need to blame your pop?

Bobby nodded. "Testify!"

"This is your fault, Max. Not your dad's. Yours. On your own, you made really dumb choices. Choices your dad wouldn't have the cruelty- Oh, why not admit it?- _the stupidity_ of doing in a million years!"

Again Max reacted with fire. "I knew you'd turn against me!"

"Skip back the disc, Max." PJ corrected. "You did that to us first!"

"Well…" Max searched for some comeback. "Glad to see I wasn't wrong."

"Don't pretend like you have a foot to stand on here! You've nuked all your bridges."

Max remembered Brad's words about bridges. "Then let the fires light the way!" Now he indeed knew he had no reason or justification whatsoever to even argue with PJ or Bobby. But he was on the brink of tears, and such vulnerability was something he couldn't allow. He stormed to the door. He opened the door, casting one final glare at PJ and Bobby. "I don't need anyone. Not you. Not the Gammas, and I definitely don't need my d…"

Max turned to see Goofy standing in the hall before him!

There came no sounds between these two. The only sound was a constant _Hy-uck_ cry emanating from a device held by Calamity Coyote. He quickly turned it off. At any rate, Max had eyes and ears only toward the figure standing before him. The sudden fire inside him blew out. He wavered to his father's black eye. He turned his sight away from it. Goofy was startled at his son's own black eye and his bald head. These things, plus the awkward expressions on their faces served to give a vivid family resemblance of father and son.

Max felt like sinking in quicksand. He darted passed his father. His passage was blocked by more of his students. Among them was Hampton, bearing his own bruises from the Gammas. In shock, Max turned the other direction.

"Max!" cried his father.

"No!" Max made a panicked cry. He gritted his teeth, rubbing his face. "Don't…" he desperately squealed to his guilt and despair. "I did a horrible thing…I feel…" He slowly moved on to a terrible ambition he had to accept. "It's over."

He heard his father's voice. "Ya aren't muh boy anymore."

Max heard that and broke some more. He began to leave again. Bye now.

And then he got bear hugged, strong words hitting his ears. "Ya'll a'ways be muh son!"

And that did it. Every reserve in Max's strength was spent. He nodded his head with tears now leaking his cheeks. He felt so heavy. He fell to his knees, shrinking into a ball inside his dad's arms. And then came out this loud wail. A pained sound more suited to a baby than someone of his late teens.

And Goofy knelt over his fallen son. He had heard such cries from Max long ago. In those times, he didn't abandon him. He would not do so now. Not ever.

This intense moment was witnessed by his students and PJ and Bobby. The latter two watched sadly, feeling very low of their selves. They came to father and son. Goofy began to lift his son, but Max's despair had sapped any energy to move. PJ and Bobby joined in and together they carried the young Goof back into the apartment. They placed Max into the bedroom, where he cringed into a small ball, weeping softly. Only Goofy remained in the room, rubbing his son's head and shoulder to relieve his great sadness. There had been other times, Goofy remembered: when Max lost his balloon at five, or when he believed there was no Santy Claus at nine, or when he lost a game at thirteen, or when he broke up with Roxanne at eighteen. All were not easy times for both of them.

"I…m…s-so-rry." Max spoke gibberish of an apology. But Goofy got the meaning, thumbing his bruised eye. "It's nuthin'." Indeed, the father had forgotten about his own bruise, more concerned about Max's own injuries. He overheard talks from the other room. His students recollected about how Max strangled Plucky and punched him. Then about how Shirley got Max's psychic cries. Now came PJ's turn to speak. The experience recollected realized Goofy's worst fears. That no good Brad! His ears picked up several of his students too. Fifi: "I always knew that Lucrezia was cheap!"

There were also words about what they found in Max's bag. PJ's voice countered to a possibility. After the Gammas had their fun with Max, they would frame him for cheating, maybe defend their actions as outrage over Max's 'treachery.' "Don't worry, Max," Goofy wondered if his boy heard that. "Dizzy ate the 'evidence.'"

"Yeah, at least we can remove cheater from the jerk's resume." Sweetie made an acid remark. Goofy hoped Max didn't hear that rude comment.

But Max was now silent. It appeared he was now asleep, so Goofy left the bedroom and joined the residents and his students. His pupils seated around the room. These were Sweetie, Calamity, Fifi (her comfortable fixture causing PJ and Bobby to blush), Shirley (who was floating mid-air, an action that got Bobby's attention enough to want to look below her. "Like, don't think about it, 'kay?" she threatened). Hampton was the only one not sitting, moving around dusting and cleaning the area. "Whoa, clean freak!" Bobby protested. "I have to know where all my stuff is."

"Sorry, I can't stand a mess," Hampton defended himself with gentleness. "You should have seen Max's room…" The pig suddenly quieted in his mistaken words.

"It happened like ya said," Goofy sadly responded to PJ. "Thanks for saving Max. I knew y're always his buddy." He patted the youth.

PJ didn't smile. He didn't really do much in helping. "Thank your kids. They did all the work."

"Y'all did more than I did." Goofy was humble. "I shoulda done somethin' more. It's all muh fault."

"No it isn't, dad," said a voice in the bedroom.

"And so the prodigal son awakes," said Sweetie.

"I did this all to myself." Max entered the room, finally standing. That did not mean he was okay. His posture moved heavy, as if it took all his will power to stand and move. He spoke in a tired bitterness. "Why don't we just get outta here?"

"We?" Goofy repeated the meaning.

"Out of the campus, out of the city, out of the state."

Goofy was struck by such a despairing retreat from his son. "But the Gammas…"

"The Gammas have won." Max snapped in his defeatist tone. "They won their game on me. You can still leave your game a draw. You were practically winning, even with that default in the last round."

"I dunno, Max…"

"Dad, dad, dad," Max made a disconsolate reasoning. "It's simple. I can't face the school tomorrow. They all were probably in on Brad's joke. Everybody who cheered me must be now waiting to take their pound of flesh."

"Now, don't believe that…"

"Dad!" Max shouted for his word to be obeyed, but there followed no harsh recriminations this time, only a pathetic plea. "Take me with you!"

Goofy stilled at such an invitation. Max coming with him? Such words filled the Goof with elation, but here he did not act upon it. "But ya can't leave college."

"I can do it at home, by computer."

"It's not the same."

"So?" Max pleaded. "Dad, don't you want me living with you again?"

Again, Goofy felt the urge to accept and agree. So much did he want his son to be with him like the old days! And so hard it felt for him to refuse. "No. I gotta let ya make it on your own here."

Max responded as if struck in the face. An insecure insanity took over: Dad didn't want him back! Dad won't forgave him, and never will. Such thoughts brought an angry response. "Well, forget it! I cannot!"

As ever, Goofy tried a firm gentleness to his son's more emotional state. "Max…"

"You don't know what I'm dealing with, dad! Put yourself in my shoes: You have just been made into one big fool by the campus. Everywhere you go, people will be laughing at you or willing to make your life a…"

"Hello?" PJ called on the phone.

Max continued. "Against all that, who would want to stay in this place?"

Goofy looked upon his son's distraught behavior. Truth be told, he did have his own bad days himself. Especially that one day when the hospital told him his wife joined the stars and skies. Goofy remembered how he looked. His son had the same down face right now. Looking like the sun had gone away and can never come up again.

But for Goofy the sun did rise again, especially on that sad day. For that was also the day he met someone very new and very special…

"I'd stay." Goofy answered.

"Why?" Max exclaimed.

Goofy gladly revealed. "For you, Max!"

And Max couldn't respond. His dad's devotion destroyed his sudden fear of the opposite. He dipped his face in sadness, unsure about what to do against such advice. So he walked away. He looked to Hampton continuing his cleaning. Max had heard every word from the bedroom. He understood how his bathroom got cleaned, and why Hampton got into his trouble. "Thanks for cleaning my room, Hampton."

"You're welcome."

"No. I'm sorry about what the Gammas did to you. I should have known what happened. I just didn't want to know."

"Granted," Hampton smiled.

"See Max!" Goofy took a more optimistic demeanor. "Me an' Hampton got nothin' against ya. Now don't ya have somethin' t' say t' PJ and Bobby?"

Max stiffened to his dad's wish. Not out of pride but certainty of a much different outcome. The words stuck in his throat.

"Max," Goofy assured, his word not a threat but a gentle urging.

Max bowed his head. "I'm so sorry, PJ. I'm so sorry, Bobby." He then closed his eyes with humiliation. What's the point? It couldn't be that easy…

"Hey, forgive and forget," Bobby replied, nudging his renewed friend's arm.

PJ only sighed and smiled with no sense of smugness. "I guess I didn't help save you just because I'm a good guy."

Such surprise came to Max's raw emotions to the point of overwhelming.

"What did I tell ya, Max?" Goofy added. "Brad wanted t' see ya break up from your family and pals so ya'd be all alone when he made his big nasty joke. Way I see it, he didn't win at all."

And Max felt like crying again, without pain without despair.

"Oh la la," Fifi commented. "Maxmillian looks so humble and repentant. So cute!" she kissed the youth.

"Yo, Max!" cheered Bobby. "Go rob that crib!"

"It's not what you think!" Max was rubbing his eyes. A light seemed to bloom from his dark face, something he had thought gone out hours ago. A person once said _'You're never a failure if you have friends._' Guess he was right. Max just needed to know who his friends are.

"Uh oh!" Shirley noted from a window. "I'm getting like some mondo bad vibes."

"More medium-ing?" Goofy asked.

"No, what I see out there." Shirley showed everyone the window. Max turned white. Several of the Gammas were coming.

"Why are they here?"

All eyes fell on Max.

"You boys leave this to us girls." Fifi recommended. "You return to the hotel." The three girls left the room and went downstairs. Now, Fifi La Fume and Shirley the Loon were not going to sink to these thugs' level. They were above such petty brutality. They would face them in a civilized manner and teach them the error of their ways. Shocks of psychic energy and bombs of putrid stench were pretty civilized methods if you were a Loon and a skunk. Not to mention very effective. Sweetie just watched in amusement.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Goof family, PJ and Bobby, and the remaining Toonsters watched the pyrotechnics from the roof. "Dude, your old man's got some weird friends." Bobby commented.

Max just nodded.

Then Calamity revealed his method of getting back to the hotel.

Max stared. "A catapult?"

Calamity nodded. Goofy complimented his student's ingenuity. "Ain't it great?"

Again Max repeated. "A Catapult?"

Calamity revealed a drawing. This machine would throw them over to the hotel. Everyone seemed compliant about it. Max was the least of them.

"I don't know…"

"It'll work, even if can't flatten cans," PJ confidently gave an elbow to Max's shoulder. The remark, a memory of their childhood, calmed Max toward this wacky venture.

Goofy, Hampton, and Calamity climbed aboard the mechanism. Max stood apologetic to his friends. "Looks like I'm bailing out on you too again."

"You'll be back." PJ made a mock threat.

"Come on Max!" Goofy cried. "We're not leaving without you!"

Max obeyed. Calamity pulled a cord and everyone went flying over the campus to the hotel. Of the casualties…eh, travelers, Max and Hampton gained the most safety, going through a window and landing onto a bed. Goofy got caught on a tree and hung there upside down. Calamity hit a brick wall.

It was by the courtesy of Buster that Max and Hampton made their landing safely. He opened the window. He witnessed it with Babs, Plucky, Sylvia, and the rest of the toonsters.

"Where's the teach?"

"Here I am!" Goofy said from outside, hanging upside down from his tree. Once he was pulled into the room, Max made his step. With lowed eyes and a slow courage, he made his apologies for being a jerk. Then his gaze came to Buster and Babs. "I hope you can forgive me."

Buster and Babs smiled graciously in response. Plucky barged through them. "Get ready to smooch the webs!" He raised his leg with egotistical intentions.

The rabbits flung their fowl friend behind them. "Plucky forgives you!"

Now that was covered, the next thing to do was wait for Shirley, Sweetie, and Fifi to return. Once they came safely, all matter was dealt with tomorrow's big race. It would involve swimming, running, and skateboarding. It was decided Plucky would handle the first part, Babs the second part, and Buster finish the job. Max just looked on with little interference. No point making the situation any worse than he already has done.

Eventually it was time for bed. Goofy kissed Sylvia goodbye and decreed bedtime for the kids. He made sure to stay awake until everyone was into naptime. In this effort, he saw Max at the corner, looking at the window.

Father walked to his son, their presence the only bright spots in this somnambulist setting. "Is there somethin' the matter, son?"

Max was deadpan to his father. "I was tricked by the Gammas, and learned that my popularity was one big fat lie. Maybe you should have asked me what is _not_ the matter?"

"Now, now," Goofy calmed Max down. "I know there's been somethin' buggin' ya before what the Gammas did tonight."

Max turned away from his dad's keen sight.

Goofy sat down. "Maxie, for awhile, we've been kinda off 'bout commun-E-cations. When ya were li'l, ya told me everythin' tha ailed ya. But since ya been grow-in all up, ya clammed up. 'Member when ya didn't tell me 'bout Roxanne when he went to Lake Destiny that summer?"

"One crazy vacation." Max smirked to a time that seemed so distant.

"Could've been happier for both o' us," Goofy was serious, "if I told ya 'bout Principal Mazur an' ya told me 'bout Roxanne." Goofy sighed. "And if I'd known how 'portant bein' in-D-pendent was t' ya, I would'a gone t' another college 'stead a buggin' ya. What I'm getting' at is I reckon bein' straight with one 'nother could'a saved us a lot of trouble."

And Max thought about it. But what if he made things worse with what he said? His every movement with his father was like walking on eggshells. He sighed, and confessed one more painful truth.

Goofy listened. "Now where d'ya get a craz-E idea like that?"

"Isn't it obvious, dad? I've whined a lot about being a Goof like you. Buster, Babs, Gogo are people after your own heart. You call them 'Muh boys,' name their group the Goof Troop. I got the feeling that I was being replaced as your son. When you compare those kids, who are for your goofiness, with me, who gave you nothing but pain…well…" Max covered his face.

Goofy put a secure hand to his shoulder. "Son, you're makin' a mountain out of a pitcher's mount."

"Ant hill, dad."

"Okay, pitcher's ant hill. I thought you wanted us t' have different lives."

"I know, I know," Max remembered when he demanded such wishes to his father last year. _Be careful what you wish for..._ "I just never figured that maybe you'd come to a point where I no longer matter to you."

His shoulder received a gentle pat. "Son, I never forget ya when I'm with muh students. In fact, I see you in 'em. When Buster's skateboardin' an acts cool, I think "That's Maxie." When Babs gets reckless or sticks by her buddies, I think 'That's Maxie.'" When Plucky gets a li'l naughty, guess what I think?"

"That's Maxie."

Goofy looked surprised. "How'd ya know?"

Max rolled his eyes, but it was a comfortable eye-rolling.

"I don't see why ya think Buster and the gang would be better for me. Unless…" Fear struck Goofy's face. "Ya don't love me no more?"

"Oh, yes I do!" Max did everything he could in voice and hand to prove it.

Goofy's face lifted. He sighed in relief. That was close!

"But don't you ever wish you had a son more like you?"

Goofy scooped his son into his embrace. "I only deserve a son who's as good as he's happy." And Max hugged his father back. It was an embrace deeper then Goofy's graduation, an embrace more loving than when Max left for his sophomore year. It was a good thing to have his dad's love; a great thing to have.

"Now, stop worryin' an' go t' bed."

Still with questions, Max nevertheless went back to bed. Goofy left and returned, bearing a teddy bear. He planted the doll into his son's arms, which received it in embrace. For the first time, a look of peace eased on Max's face.

* * *

Morning came, and after two hours in the bathroom, Babs was the first of the girls to come out. She found Buster balancing on his skateboard. He explained that he and Plucky disguised themselves as new customers, got a room and used its bathroom. They sent the bill to the Gamma Fraternity.

"Ready for today?" Babs asked.

"Watch this!" Buster stepped on his board, surfed down the stair rail and rode all the way to the café. He made a direct stop before Max, sitting alone at a table.

"Nice moves," said Max.

Babs joined the two and looked to Max's melancholy.

"I don't really know who I am anymore," Max reflected.

Babs had the answer. "Oh it's simple: You're name is Max Goof. You're our teacher's son. And you've been something of a jerk recently."

"That's not what I meant," Max gave a stare, but he let the criticism go. "I don't know what to do. Half my life I've tried to become someone I'm not. I thought I had gotten to it, but all I did was make a jerk of myself. I've tried so hard and fell so hard, I can't do it anymore. So, what can I do now?"

Babs smirked. "Embrace your inner goof?"

Max's face grew more uneasy.

"Hold on a minute!" Buster reacted. "What's so wrong being a goof?"

"Aside from being a klutz that everyone laughs at?"

"So?" Babs was nonchalant. "Your dad doesn't mind it."

"Well, dad's so happy-go-lucky."

"So, have there been times when he hasn't?"

Max thought, to the increase of his guilt. "Can we skip that point? I'm already feeling bad enough."

"Well, hate to say this," Babs commented, "But wasn't your caring about what other people think that got you into this mess?"

Max refused to answer.

"So why does it bother you?" Buster made the question.

"Because of how people react."

"Who reacts?" said Babs. "Yourself or the people around you?"

"Both."

"People like the Gammas?"

Max found another roadblock, so he changed courses again. "It always bothers me to be part of dad's escapades."

"What about that video with Powerline?" Buster admitted. "You looked perfectly happy doing the perfect catch before the eyes of millions."

"That was different!"

"Why?" Buster responded. "Because you were actually happy being part of dad's goofy antics?"

"Yeah, but…"

Buster seemed to be on to something. "So there has been no other time where you actually enjoyed being goofy?"

Max kept silent. (_"Yes! She said Yes! Everybody Mambo!"_) He looked away.

"I'll take that as a No." Babs smugly replied.

"So what are you saying? That being the Goof is the key to happiness!"

"Maybe, maybe not!" Buster answered. "But to quote Mark Twain: It's not as bad as it sounds."

Max was hard pressed to deny this truth. Indeed, hasn't denying the Goof in himself given him a lot of grief? It was not listening to his Goof father that almost lost him the X Games. It was his issues that nearly cost him his best friends and pushed him into the Gammas' hands. And it almost cost him his dad's love.

But a decade of trying to deny his father's shadow still held fast. Why stop now? Is it just the sense of giving up a long-fought resistance? And yet, when it mattered, was being a Goof so bad? PJ and Bobby didn't care if he was a Goof or not. Roxanne didn't care.

Max revealed none of this to the rabbits, showing neither rejection nor acceptance as he arose. "I'll take those words in mind." He walked back to the room.

* * *

Soon, the Goof Troop gathered. Goofy made another roll call. "Did I forget anything?"

"Definitely!" Max stepped in with an air. "It's about your name." He looked with a confidence not seen since yesterday. "Y'know, Goof Troop is a stupid name. You have only one Goof in the whole group. Maybe having two Goofs might make things less dumb."

And Goofy beamed the best of smiles. Max was accepted.

"Has the world come to an end?" said Sweetie.

The Goof Troop marched to the campus square. Max had word with Buster, Babs, and Plucky. Chances were Axel was going to be swimmer, with Xander doing the running. If Brad was back, then he would be competing against Buster. Max viewed around. So far, no one seemed to be booing him. More the opposite. But were they cheering him or the Goof Troop? He searched for any friendly face. PJ and Bobby were nowhere to be seen. But there stood Lucrezia. She cheered for Xander and the Gammas. Max's heart sank. Yes, he knew their true natures now, but the betrayal still hurt. He trusted both of them, and they were laughing behind his back the whole time. It's funny, in trying to forget Roxanne, Max looked for a girl different than her. Lucrezia proved to be very different.

Max shook his head. Deal with it.

"Hey Max!" said a deep recognizable voice, to which Max cringed and ignored.

The voice belonged to Tank, with a cast and crutch. "Max!"

"Leave me alone," Max spoke with the most acid.

Tank showed some awkwardness. "I know…I heard."

Goofy joined his son. "Muh son said for ya Gammas to leave him alone!" He spoke in a most uncharacteristic way.

"I'm not a Gamma anymore." Tank confessed. "I really thought Brad was gone. I had no idea what he and the others were planning for you. I would have stopped it if that crazy bird didn't put me in the hospital."

Father and son kept their backs.

"Max, Goofy. I know I was a jerk to you last year. But both of you saved my butt. I don't forget things like that."

Goofy, ever the friendliest of people, looked to his son. "It's up to you Max. I'll stand by your choice." Max was silent.

* * *

Meanwhile, Buster and Plucky kept an eye on the young Goof. "With Max on our team, we can't lose." Buster spoke with enthusiasm.

Plucky did not share it. "So what? It's not like he's going to participate in the final round."

Buster gave a calculating eye to the duck. Plucky read him like a book. "No. Oh no no no no no! Forget it!"

"Well, if you put it that way…" Buster loomed forward with violent intent. "Then you leave me no choice."

And thus a colossal battle of wits occurred between rabbit and duck for the status of Max. 'Accidents' were caused with sadly no casualties. Arguments were made. Buster saying his fowl friend should score one for the team. Plucky's argument being how he's not going to surrender any more spotlight to long-earred loonies, be they goofs or rabbits. "Besides…do we really need two rabbits?"

This stopped the duel. Buster and Plucky's gaze fell on a new target: Babs.

She glared back. "Oh no…" her soft refusal bellied her violent wish. She grabbed both rabbit and duck and dragged them out of sight. There was much crunching and cries of pain. And then Babs popped out, none the worse. She acted hysterical. "Mr. Goofy! Something terrible happened! Buster broke his foot! He can't go on!"

Goofy was shocked. "Are ya positive?"

"I know," Babs confirmed it.

Goofy looked around for a replacement. "Max! You must replace Buster!"

Max was touched, not by the obvious scheme allowing him this chance, but the fact they were giving him a big chance after the way he treated them. Just like PJ, Bobby, and dad forgave him. Max turned to Tank. "We're okay again."

Tank bearhugged the smaller Goof.

On a podium, the Student Council president continued his speech. On one side, there was Bradley, Xander, and Axel. On the other side was Max standing with Babs and Plucky.

"Let me handle things now, SCP" Buster snatched the microphone from the official. He gave a comfortable air to his speaking, even though he had a leg in a cast. "Now, you must all know that some changes have been made for both our teams. For the Gammas, may I introduce…"

Buster began to giggle. "I-I-Introduce…" his cheer increased to laughter. "What a dope!" he whispered, followed by more laughs. "What a tramp…" He fell to the ground, punching the floor in a failure to contain his laughter. And then, he swung to a serious air. "Bradley Upperclass the III!"

There came some cheers from the Gammas. Max felt like withering. He saw Buster watching him. "And over here on the Goof Troop, a person who needs no introduction." His words spoke all reverent. "That champion of sports and honorable sportsmanship. Your friend and mine. Our own, our beloved…Maximillian- apple of his father's eye- Goof."

The Goof Troop cheered. The Gammas howled their jeers, until a sudden lightning storm and pungent flush of bad odor broke their ranks. Max looked to the cause. Shirley and Fifi nodded their approval for him.

Bradley and Max were transported to their spot. They would wait until the second player tagged them. Then they would skateboard down a long hill to the final victory. No words were shared, but Brad was smiling. Never a good sign, Max thought. Last year, he had his friends and dad on his side. His confidence had taken a major butt kicking since yesterday. How did he know his victories had not all been planned in advance? Was the X Games last year part of Brad's Machiavellian scheme? Thoughts like this showed how far aground Max's insecurities have covered.

The worst thing, Max figured, is that Bradley had the upper hand! He still cringed to the experience of last night's humiliation. Beating Bradley today would not change the realization that he had been his fool for months.

"How are you feeling?" Brad pretended compassion.

Max kept his mouth shut.

Bradley responded with a friendly air that came out sinister. "I don't see PJ and Bobby around…"

Max's attention snapped to Bradley was alleging. "What have you done?"

Bradley looked at his fingers. "Oh you remember last night…"

An alliance of anger and shock covered Max's face.

Brad examined his skateboard, all the while continuing his psychological torture as if in a simple conversation. "You are still ever my puppet. You have no choice but to do as I say."

Max glared at his adversary. But Brad held the cards. Lose the game, the Gammas win. Win the game, the Gammas would do to PJ and Bobby what happened to him. He had been a lousy friend too much. But Dad and Goof Troop counted on him. He couldn't fail them!

Unless…Max remembered what he overheard in the bedroom last night. Completely looney, but desperation called for some insanity. Might as well begin embracing his inner goof! So Max made an immense thought. One message was his call. _Gammas got my friends. _Max kept on repeating that one consistent thought. Nothing else was made. He thought not of desperation. He did not think about the possible stupidity he was making in his strong concentration. Just _Gammas got my friends._

And then a new thought came. _We're sorry, but the Loon is unable to receive your call. Please leave a message after the gong!_

Oh-kay. Max found his straws thin down.

* * *

Plucky and Axel stood before the waters. Both wore necklaces that they will give to their successor. Axel's lean, muscular form brought out the jealousy in Plucky, who sucked his gut in an attempt to rival him.

With a shot of the gun, the swimmers dived into the water and raced.

Nearby on his spot, Xander was holding a small remote. Ready for some roast duck! He pressed a button. Nothing. He pressed it again.

His actions were being watched through a telescope by Goofy. "Where d'ya get those wonderful toys?" He looked to Calamity, pressing his own remote control: _Acme Remote Signal Blocker_.

Despite Axel's skill and size, he devoted his victory on the success of Brad's toys. As a result, he saw nothing happening, giving Plucky a huge advantage of outswimming him. An advantage he took full feathered hands upon. He reached the shore and handed Babs the necklace. He had done it! His moment in the spotlight! So, in this case, let the reader go see how Babs is faring! She ran, closely followed by Xander. He too relied on other factors other than his impressive skill. Soon they would be passing a truck bearing pipes for the new construction. There was the truck. Xander made a burst of speed, outpacing Babs as he passed by the truck. Hidden, a Gamma, disguised as a trucker, caused the vehicle to unload its contents. A loud crash of metal filled the road, blocking its path completely.

Xander made a stop. "So much for the competition."

"Oh, now I wouldn't say that!"

Xander was shocked to see Babs standing right next to him. With a grin, she projected the greatest smooch upon Xander, adding a pink bow to his hair and darted off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Buster and the other toons gathered before the Gamma Fraternity. It was apparent that PJ and Bobby were being held there. This was according to Tank, who decided to accompany them. "Most of the gang are probably out cheering Brad. So probably only a few of them are in there. I can at least tell you Punch won't be there. He told me the news about Max and laughed about it. Now, he's in the hospital."

"You punched Punch?" Plucky asked.

"Again and again," Tank was proud of himself.

"You punched Punch pwice?" Plucky couldn't resist.

"Shall we storm the Bastile?" Fifi held her tail as if she were Sarah Connor holding a rifle.

Buster shared Fifi's wish for an assault. Indeed, Casa Gamma would be attacked by catapult, bearing the most horrible cargo of warfare ever imagined by the Tiny Toons. Which is why Elmyra was flung into the chimney.

Buster checked his watch. Within a minute, the Gammas came charging out in a panic.

And the last two to come out were Bobby and PJ. They shut the door and barricaded it with themselves. "Help!" Their terror was genuine, as a hole had been chopped through the door. "Heerrree's Elmyra!" She giggled.

Max's two friends joined the Toonsters, thankful for their rescue, if not their method. "Okay, let's get back!" Buster commanded. "I think Babs might need my help."

* * *

Babs and her opponent continued on their long run. Should cut down on the carrot cake, Babs exhaled to herself.

She heard the announcer. "And it looks like Xander Eghed is making some head-way, while…" There was a loud jerking sound, with a new voice. "And predictably in behind is the noticeably chubby Barbara Ann Bunny!"

Babs' face took a change from confusion to stunned to pissed off-rage. Predictably her steps took a quicker streak that left her fleetfoot opponent behind. And there came Max's position in her fleet run. She hopped to Max, adorning him with the necklace. "Finish the job!" She shouted. Brad got the necklace from Xander and began his trek shortly after Max skid his own. With barely much distance, Goof and Upperclass hit their skateboards and charged.

Their predecessors looked on as they left. "Looks like our job's done," Babs added.

"A battle is not the war." Xander snapped.

"Oh really?" Babs beamed Xander on the head with a mallet. Now with was done, Babs could devote her energies to getting a rabbit foot. A _blue_ rabbit's foot…

The final competitors charged down the hill. Getting a message from Shirley, Max was free to fight all his self-doubts and rely on his experience and skill. Brad swerved his board to the point of intimidation. Max fought against this as well. He stamped the ground for more speed.

Unfortunately, there was a bottle conveniently dropped and rolled into Max's way. The rider did not see it. The impact caused board and boarder to fly off the road.

Max put his fate into being a Goof. He landed back on the board, standing upon it with his hands. This kept him up but also upside down, and not very securely as he leaned at every direction like a flagpole.

"I'll always have the upper hand, Goof!" Brad smirked.

"How about the upper foot!" Max was defiant.

There was the finishing line and the long tape. But Max's balance was breaking. The line tape was approached. All balance lost!

Max fell off the board, rolling a bit on the pavement. An experienced rider accepted such pain, and Max was no exception. He tried to stand up. Around him were his father, PJ, Bobby, Tank, and the Goof Troop. As this happened, a loud voice exclaimed: "And the winner is Max for the Goof Troop! With three victories, the Goof Troop of ACME Looniversity have won!" As the photo finish revealed, Max's imbalance caused him to sway forward at the moment of approaching the tape. Conveniently, his falling torso broke the tape before Bradley got to it.

Max smiled to the utter craziness. He fell to his father's embrace, getting swamped by friends and students.

And there stood the Gammas, indifferent to their loss, at least in surface. Brad used his words to effect. "So you won by a goof. Like father, like son." His team roared with laughter.

Max controlled his temper, facing them all with a calm face. He picked up Li'l Sneezer and sprinkled some dirt into the kid's snout.

One sneeze later, the Gammas took flight, literally.

"I know!" Max responded with dispassionate interest. "You don't leave the Gammas. The Gammas leave you. Bye Bye!"

And this act won applauds from the Tiny Toons.

Lucrezia ran to his direction. "My darling Max!" She screamed with excitement.

Fifi flung her tail to her hands and fired. A nauseous green vapor smoked around the girl.

"Gross!" Babs covered her nose. "Hit the trash can, sister!"

There would be no award or trophy for the victor. Goofy asked if Max had any request.

Max turned to Babs. "Hit it Powerline!"

Max and Goofy entered into dance of the Perfect Cast in perfect memory of that wonderful night. Buster looked on with satisfaction. He can imitate the moves, but he could never duplicate the perfect chemistry that shown on father and son.

The festivities could really begin, but then Goofy looked at his watch. "Hey, I gotta get ya kids home!"

Thus began a mad rush to the bus.

Max made his goodbyes to several of the kids. His ears picked up Plucky in the bus. He was betting something with several of his classmates. "I'll give 3 bucks if it happens next month."

"What's going on?" Max asked the rabbits.

"Oh, Plucky's making bets on how long it will take for you to oppose your old man again."

Max smarted at Plucky's nerve.

"Hey, you've done it before!" Buster added.

Max pulled out a twenty. "I'll bet it won't happen again." He handed it to Buster. "Keep this under your hat." He gave Buster a slap of four, and got a kiss from Babs.

Finally, Max faced his dad, who stayed at the door until all his students entered it. "Well, it's goodbye again, dad."

"Yup," Goofy gave the look of calm, but his eyes showed sadness over this farewell. "Ya gonna be alright?"

"I don't know. I've got the pieces to pick up. Maybe I can follow your example and not think so seriously about it." He finally smiled. "Y'know dad, every time you get into my life, I end up learning new things. But what can I expect from my first and favorite teacher?"

Father and son embraced. "An y'll always be muh favorite student!" With that, Goofy exchanged a kiss with Sylvia and got onto the bus. He made another roll call, always forgetting about Calamity. "Everything packed?"

"Yes," Elmyra giggled. The bunny-wunies offered her a new wabbit, which was inside the bag next to her. She unzipped it. "Now be very very quiet!" The girl cheerfully advised with a giggle. Bound and gagged in a pink fluffy bunny suit, Bradley Upperclass III winced in his captivity.

* * *

_We're set to acceptin'_

_This field trip's at an endin'._

_We've had bruises and angstin'_

_But we still had comedy!_

_Max got better with Goofy_

_Way better than Extremely Movie._

_Guess his issues are overthrownie…_

_At least 'till comes the newest DVD!_

_Thus ends a weird crossover someone ever wrote,_

_Could be worse, we could be mixed with Death Note!_

_We're Tiny, we're Toony, we're all a little Goofy_

_It's Tiny Toon Adventures,_

_Here's the epilogue…_

Unfortunately, despite Goofy's achievements, certain Powers That Be made sure his term at the ACME Looniversity was sadly short-lived. Nevertheless, the faculty awarded George G. Geef Jr. an Honorary Doctorate for uncommon excellence in hilarity. Dr. Goofy's victory was warmly greeted by his students and his beloved son. Max found it strange that the faculty mistook him for Goofy's apprentice.

"I'm Dr. Goofy's son." Max proudly declared.

_And here we say so long!_


End file.
